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 [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples

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JORDANJTK67
:: Butterfly et Papillon ::
:: Butterfly et Papillon ::


Nombre de messages : 12
Date d'inscription : 14/01/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Sam 12 Juil 2008, 2:39 pm

Pas mal du tt ta lettre !!!

Je mets la mienne si jamais quelqu'un à besoin d'inspiration ! :)

Dear host family,

My name is Jordan; I am 20 years old in a few weeks. I am French, I come from a small village called HATTEN at the border between France and Germany, and I also speak a little German. I study law at university in the city called STRASBOURG and live there in a little flat. I have got my driving licence since I am 18 years old. I think I have a good relationship with my family and they agree with my decision to go to the United States. They are aware that it will be a very good experience for a young boy like me. I grew up with two little sisters, Tina who is 17 years old and Kenza who is 9 years old, both of them go to school and practice Karate as I do. My father is trade manager in a factory, he practices Karate too and he is wearing black belt like me; my mother works in the real-estate business.

I chose the au pair’s program because I love to be with children. Children are very important for me and I enjoy taking care of them. I like to play with them, to draw, to play outside, to do manual or sportive activities and why not, learn the basics of French. In my mind, it’s very important to keep children safe; to be able to get their attention too and also to be able to interest them in many things. I will have to keep an eye on them every time to avoid an accident for example. I will also have to entertain them to avoid them to get bored, I will have to be an example for them and to tell and to teach them the rules of good behaviour. It's also a good experience for me to become a good father later! I am also able to help them with their homework.

For three years, from January 2005 to November 2006, I worked as a babysitter. I took care of a young girl, Allison who was 4 years old. I was with them after school, for their homework, and when arrived the week end I keep her safe and entertain Alisson to avoid her to get bored. I also worked from June 2004 to December 2004 as a babysitter for a work friend from my father. I took care of her 2 twins: Margot and Timote who was 11 Month. I keep them safe the evening when they are sleeping and I give them bottle-feed. It was very interesting.

Moreover, living in America is something I wanted for a long time, since 1996 when I was with my parents in Florida in Orlando where my father participated at the Karate World Championship, it was really beautiful! I chose the USA because this country represents for me the “self made man” the “American dream” and the “American way of life”. I don’t know too much about American people, but I am convinced that I will learn many things. That’s why I chose the USA to be an au pair. I am mentally well prepared for this trip, and I am aware that I’ll really have to “work” with children to keep my place. I don’t mind working with children, I really enjoy it. The au pair’s program will permit me to improve and to increase on the one hand my English knowledge and on the other hand to live a unique experience in a foreign country! I really want to live in an American family in order to live like them. So I am very excited to see you! I want to add that it is the year on presidential elections, so it interests me very much to see that.

Now about me … It's hard to write something about myself but I think that I'm honest, open-hearted and not complicated!
I would like to discover your “world” and I would like you to discover mine! I am a dynamic and serious person. You can trust in me. I am creative and responsible. I'm not really shy. I don't smoke and I don’t drink because I want to be in a good physical shape! I like fighting sports (I practice Karate since I was 8 and kick Boxing at the university), bodybuilding, swimming, and I enjoy going out with my friends. I like shopping, music, go to the museum and to the park. I would like to add that I spend my Wednesday evenings and Saturday afternoons teaching Karate to children aged 4 to 9 years in my club. It was very funny and children are really interested.

I study law and I have my high school diploma. Since November 2007, I work the week ends in a security society to pay my studies.
After this year in the States, I think I will speak English fluently and so I will find a job easier during my studies. After that I would like to become a military officer in the French army. To spend one year as a male au pair in the USA is very important for me.

I think that we will spend one excellent year together and that it will be very beneficial for me and for you.
I am really looking forward to meeting you, to take care of your children and to discover your country. I just want to realize my dream with you!

I hope to see you soon, and wish you all the best.


édit : Lettre correcte, à modifier. Anglais très correct.

Points positifs
- Il parle de la sécurité des enfants.

Points à améliorer
- Répétitions (il dit qu’il fait attention à la sécurité des enfants et qu’il essaie d’éviter qu’ils s’ennuient, puis il redit exactement la même chose pour une petite fille dont il s’est occupé).
- Le paragraphe qui décrit ses expériences avec les enfants est trop court : plutôt que de se répéter, raconter davantage les activités réalisées, raconter une anecdote.. serait plus judicieux! La rubrique qui parle des USA est plus longue! Même s’il dit qu’il n’a aucun problème pour « travailler » avec les enfants, il donne le sentiment que ceci est pour lui une obligation afin de pouvoir aller aux USA.
- Répétitions par rapport à ses études également.
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http://jordan-in-usa.skyrock.com
erzulie



Féminin Nombre de messages : 37
Age : 29
Date d'inscription : 27/05/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Mer 13 Aoû 2008, 6:42 pm

Vos lettres sont vraiment bien!!

Darkmaxou, ta lettre est bien écris et très complète.

Je pensais que j'aurais pas assez de choses à dire mais du coup, avec la double interligne, ça me prend trois pages!

Je vous laisse mon lettre, si jamais il y a des choses à corriger, dites-le moi. Sinon, vous pouvez toujours vous en inspirez.

Dear host family,

My name is Stéphanie, I am 21 years hold (I was born in December 10st 1986) and I live on one’s own in Caen, in Normandy (France) since two years.
I got a high school diploma specialized in scientific (baccalauréat) in 2006. Then, I have been three months in military school to learn my job. I am a secretary in police station in Caen (my unity is search's section). I like judicial's universe.
I have the driver's licence since 2005 and in 2001, I got my first-aid worker's diploma.

My parents live in Lieury, a small town near Caen. My mother is a child-minder at home and my father is a building labourer. I have one sister and one brother. My sister, Ingrid is 19 years old, she is in apprenticeship. My brother, Kévin is 14 years old, he is in college. I am close to my family. They support me to become an au pair since they know that I love travel, discover different countries and children. They think it could be a good experience for me, they know it is my dream.

In fact, I chose the au pair programm because I like to be with children, I enjoy to take care of them. I like spend with them, draw, paint, play outside, do manual activities. I feel good when I am with them, they are so spontaneous, fun and innocent. I am never bored with them, I spent very good moments with chidren who I took care of them.

My brother, when he was a child was the first child that I have mind. I took care of him when my mother drove my sister in gymnastic courses twice a week, during six months. I changed diapers, I minded him. It was a great pleasure to take care of him, my brother was a nice child.

In 2004, I took care of Fabien (6 years old) and Barbara (9 years old) every saturday in the morning. In summer, I took care of them 4 days a week during holidays. In 2005, I just took care of Fabien during one month in summer. I realized different activities with them : parlour games, play outside (to do swing, to go cycling, to go for a walk), I read a story at Fabien befor sleeping, I helped him for homeworks. I cooked for fabien and barbara. I spent two wonderful years with them. Fabien was bad-tempered, he often quarreled with his sister but I was always happy to take care of them.

In 2006, my mother took care of two babies, Laura and Isabella, who were 3 months. At this time, I lived again with my parents and I took care of them too. I bottled-feed, I changed diappers, I go for a walk in pram, I help them during their lie-down. I have seen to grow Laura and Isabella, I have seen to say their firt word, I took them for a ride.

In may 2008, Zachary, Isabella's little brother was born and it was with pleasure I took care him too. Even if I did'nt live with my parents any more, I continue to come at least once a month when I am in holidays to take care of Laura, Isabella and Zachary. I love so spend with them.

I choose USA because it is a country which facsinates me. I always dream to discover this country and to speack fluently english. I enjoy to discover a new culture. I like travel a lot. I have been in Italy and twice in Germany but never in USA and I would be delighted to visit this country. I am interesting by USA since a long time and living in an american family is the best way to learn more about the american culture and the language.

I am a dynamic and organized person. I am serious, mature, open-minded, independent, fun and responsible. When I am not with my family, I like go to see my friends very much. We do a lot of activities together. We do shopping, we go to concerts, to the beach, to cinema, to restaurants, we spend holidays together. I like navigating on internet, watching movies (I prefer detectiv and romantic movies), listenning to the music and cooking.
When I will come back in France, I would like to pass a specific exam to become a police officer.

I hope you will appreciate my letter. I am very exited to meet you, to take care of yours children, to discover your country and your city.
You can be sure that I will take care of your children as if they were my sisters or brothers. I will do my best to be a good au pair for you.

I hope to see you soon and spend a wonderful year with you.

Best regards.

Stéphanie.


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais correct (erreurs mais très compréhensible).

Points positifs
- Lettre complète.

Points à améliorer
- Attention, college correspond aux études supérieures aux USA!
- Pour le petit frère, inutile de préciser des « horaires » pendant lesquelles elle le gardait, dire « dès que ma mère en avait besoin » est suffisant. Le rôle d’une grande sœur ne s’arrête pas à ces moments!
- Lettre complète mais qui ressemble à tout autre lettre!
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http://lunaeterzulie.blogspot.com
kaitou
:: Calvin Thomas ::
:: Calvin Thomas ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 22
Age : 29
Activité actuelle : Barmaid
Dates de mon séjour : Départ le 12 Janvier 2009
Ville, ETAT : Pittsburgh, PENNSYLVANIA
Localisation : Belgique
Date d'inscription : 02/07/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Mar 16 Sep 2008, 3:40 pm

Salut à toutes !

J'ai terminé ma lettre, dites moi ce que vous en pensé s'il vous plait !!

Merci d'avance

Dear host family,


My name is Gloria, I’m 21 years old. I live in Vendee in the west of the France in the cost. I live with my family.
My mum Evelyne is 51, she take care of old persons. My dad names Jean-Yves, he’s 53 and he’s cook. I have 3 brothers : The first, Sylvain, is 26. He’s plumber and the boss. Nicolas, 23 years old, is animator and disk jockey. My little brother names Kevin, he’s 17 and he’s student.
With my family, we have very goods relations. They are enjoy for me about my decision to go aupair in the USA.
It’s necessary for my professional future.

I want to become an aupair because I love children. I love playing with them, drawing, dancing, singing, helping in their homework, playing outdoor and others activities…

I have several experiences with children. During two summers, I work in a holiday camp. I went in UK with my school and I worked in a primary school. Then, I worked as a babysitter.

In July and August in 2004/2005, I worked in a summer camp in Montpellier in the south of the France next to the beach. The camp named “Colonie de L’Espoir”. It received children with problems. For example, they were without family, the parents were dead or in prison, or children were sick. It was a very good experience for me. I didn’t have the BAFA (A diploma necessary for a camp), but I assisted the animators. Children were 3 to 12 years old. I have played with children, eating with them, helping them to take a shower, swimming with tem…

Then, in 2004, I went in the UK with my school during 2 weeks. I was in training course in a primary school with children (3, 4 and 5 years old). It was the first experience for me in a abroad county. It’s was great! I have listened stories for children, played with them. I assisted the teacher.

Finally, I worked as a babysitter. I took care of Juliette (5) and Benjamin (3) during 3 years. I had habit of cooking, eating with them. We played outside, drawing, singing, dancing, painting, reading. I also took care of Stanislas (2), I cooked and gave to eat him. I played with Stan, put him in the bed. I gave a shower and dressed Stan and I participated in the domestics tasks.

Moreover, go to the USA, it’s a dream, it’s my dream ! I want to discover a new country, a new culture. I want to live a daily’s American family. I want to learn to speak English very well thanks to you. I love the USA, yours cities, yours customs, yours traditions (Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas etc…) So I am very excited to see you !!!

Now about me… I am a dynamic and serious person. I am mature, creative and responsible. You can have confidence in me. I like dancing (played during 4 years), swimming, singing (I participated to several competitions), I love to play basketball (played during 8 years). With my friends, I go to the cinema, go to the nightclub. We go to the restaurant, to the swimming pool etc... I like shopping, listen to music, go to the theme park and especially I love to travel. I went to Italy, Spain, UK, Tunisia and I wish to go to the USA !!

I have studied the business and the administration. I am graduate of the baccalaureat a high school diploma. Then, I prepared a other diploma, the advanced vocational diploma. But I don’t have found on administration job. Now, I work in a restaurant.

When I go back in France, I want to pass a competition of police. If I fail, I want search an administration job thanks to my English which will be very well, I wish of course.

I think that we will live a excellent year with you and it will be a very good experience.

I am in a hurry to take care of your children, I’m in a hurry to meet you. I wish to discover your country.

I want to realize my dream with you and your children.

I hope to hear from you soon,

Gloria


édit : Bonne lettre. Erreurs mais compréhensible.

Points positifs
- Lettre complète.

Points à améliorer
- Elle dit qu’elle a besoin de ce séjour pour son futur professionnel, puis elle parle d’un stage réalisé avec l’école, mais elle ne dit pas ce qu’elle fait dans la vie, ses études! (cette partie arrive plus tard, mais ce serait intéressant de le dire avant, car on se pose la question de par ce qu’elle dit).
- Inutile de préciser le nom du camp pour le préciser, ou alors dire pourquoi il s’appelait « le camp de l’espoir », car espoir veut dire en anglais, etc etc.
- Inutile de dire qu’elle n’a pas le BAFA, ce diplôme n’existe pas aux USA (ni son équivalent), donc cela n’intéresse pas les parents (quand on l’a, c’est un bon point mais inutile de dire qu’on ne l’a pas et qu’on n’avait qu’un rôle d’assistant!).
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http://kaitou-aux-usa.skyrock.com
gadrouz
:: Calvin Thomas ::
:: Calvin Thomas ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 19
Age : 31
Activité actuelle : future au pair à Aurora près de Chicago IL
Dates de mon séjour : 12 janvier 2009
Ville, ETAT : Aurora ILLINOIS
Date d'inscription : 29/09/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Jeu 02 Oct 2008, 7:33 pm

Je viens de finir ma lettre et je viens demander des avis. :))))

Dear host family,

Hello, my name is Rachida Gadrouz. I am 23 years old. I was born on March 20, 1985; the spring’s day. I live in Grande-Synthe, a town located in the north of France. I have 3 brothers and 5 sisters. I am the last one, the younger.
My parents come from Marocco.
My mother is retired now; she worked like employee in a society called Arcelor Mittal during 18 years.
My father died 8 years ago. He worked for Arcelor Mittal too.
My brothers and sisters are all married and have children. I have 12 nephews and nieces. They are between 2 and 18 years old. I have a big family and I’m close to them.

I have an economic and social science baccalaureat and an international trade BTS. I have just completed a degree course in banking and insurance at the Lille Catholic University.

Later, after my experiment as an au pair girl, I would like to be teacher to transmit my knowledge and to take part in the socialization of the children.

I am dynamic, serious, creative, responsible and sociable.
During my free time, I like to make shopping, to read, to go to the cinema with my friends, my brothers and sisters or my nephews and nieces. I like involve myself in projects such as organize travels or activities for the children who haven’t money to go abroad during the holidays.
I like sport; I practiced basketball, badminton and dance. I practiced dance during 8 years, so I can give free dance lessons in social center to children.

I like spend time with my friends. My best friend’s name is Cynthia; she has just had her architect’s diploma. We organize a party for the occasion (you will be able to see a picture of us later).

To travel is one of my hobbies too. I went to Morocco, Tunisia, Spain, Poland, the United Kingdom, Italia and Germany. I like discover others countries, others cultures.
I went to Spain, to Barcelona precisely for 3 months to make a training period. It was very well. I learned many things and that allowed me to improve my Spanish level.





One of the reasons which make that I have decided to be an au pair girl in the United States, it is that I like children, to look after them is a true happiness. I have worked much with children. I like to look after them, to go to the cinema together, to the beach, to go for a walk or in the parks. I also like to help them to make their home works and to recite their lessons.

I have started to look after children from neighbors and family at 15 years old. I’ve continued so far. I work for 6 years with the same family; I look after their daughter Léa. Today she is 6 years old. I take care of her since she was born. For me, she seems like my little sister. I look after her the Wednesday and during the holidays.
I like to learn her many things, to tell her some fairy tales before go to sleep, to answer her questions when she asks me about life, to go with her to her gymnastic courses or to cook her birthday cake together.
For her third birthday, we put salt in the cake instead of sugar. It wasn’t very good!!! Finally we bought cake in a bakery.
Sometimes, I look after her cousin; Louis is 8 years old. Last year, we went to Disneyland Paris just before Christmas. Children are very happy and it was very funny (you will be able to see a picture later).

Like I said previously, I have 12 nephews and nieces and I’m close to them. I am brought to look after them sometimes.

Two years ago, I worked at a summer camp in the south of France in Narbonne. I was a leader of a 6-8 years old group. We made many activities like make bicycle, board with veil, go to the beach, to the swimming pool. We organized spectacles and treasure hunts.

I often give dance lessons in the social center. When I was 18 years old I even went in Poland within the framework of an inter cultural exchange to give dance lessons to a group of girls. They are between 12 and 15 years old.

I know that to be an au pair girl in the United States will be the greatest experiments of my life.
This experiment will allow me to improve my English level, while doing what I like that is to say, take care of babies and children and in some sorts to be a sister.

I am really impatient to know your children and to share with them many adventures. I hope to hear from you soon.

Rachida


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais correct (erreurs mais très compréhensible).

Points positifs
- Elle décrit bien ses expériences avec les enfants : activités avec anecdotes à l’appui.
- Lettre complète.

Points à améliorer
- Eviter d’aller autant à la ligne et de sauter autant de lignes.
- La profession des parents reste vague.
- Penser à traduire « baccalauréat » et BTS, car là c’est comme parler chinois aux familles!
- Avec autant de nièces et neveux, il est étonnant qu’elle n’en parle pas plus dans la lettre. Si c’est parce qu’elle n’a effectivement pas forcément l’occasion de s’en occuper, elle peut laisser ça comme ça, mais si elle s’en occupe fréquemment, elle devrait détailler davantage cette partie.
- Malgré une famille nombreuse, elle ne parle pas trop de sa famille ou de son envie d’intégrer une famille : par choix?
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http://rgadrouz.skyrock.com
Oly
:: Calvin Thomas ::
:: Calvin Thomas ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 227
Age : 28
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 12/03/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Lun 27 Oct 2008, 2:03 pm

Salut les filles donc moi aussi je vous mets ma letttre et laissez moi vos impression svp !!!

Dear Host Family!
Hi!

I am 20 years old and I live in Paris. I have two sisters who don't live any more at my parents'. There is my father who works (security ily and my friends like to look at the sport (basketball, football). I often go to the cinema with my cousin or my friends. Practically every year I went to ski for 1 week with my uncle, my aunt and my cousin. Until my 16 years old, I went on summer vacancy with my parents at my grand-parent. They encourage me in my decision for Aupaire program, they supporte me and helped in my decision.

I would like to be au pair for different reasons. The first one, I like take care of children. The second one, this experience will help me to get a better knowledge about English language and American life.

I met some other au pair in U.S who gave me more details about this work. After have to meet the aupair that give me encouragement because they have enjoyed oneself and of see their progress in their English.

Another reason I am excited to come to the U.S because it will improve my English to speak with you and your family. After the Aupaire program I plan to work as flight attendant and my language skills will be a very important.

I have a personality serious, responsible, and affectionate. I am a conscientious girl in my labor. I am creative and ambitious.I like laughter and to benefit from life.

For me, the education is important, to be a good listener and to have a minimum authority. I think that I would make a good au pair because I have a lot of experience with children. I have a good memory with children, for example to play to hide and seek or to park with the slide and seesaw or again with sandbox. I like to dance with them, it is funny!! I take care of your children, I shall learn to them to be autonomous (wash alone, to learn to order their bedroom) and all my knowledge. We shall play to full of game (peek a boo, playdoh, to make paint, to draw, to go of the swimming pool ...), take a walk, to read....

I hope to hear from your soon, Sincerely.


édit : Lettre à compléter. Erreurs mais à peu près compréhensible.

Points à améliorer
- « There is my father who works (security ily and my friends like to look at the sport (basketball, football). » : ce passage est à reformuler! Sentiment que cela passe du coq à l’âne, on ne comprend pas bien.
- Lettre trop courte :
* on ne connaît rien de ses loisirs.
* Les expériences avec les enfants ne sont pas décrites : on ne connaît pas les activités, les âges des enfants, leurs prénoms, des anecdotes…
De façon générale, la lettre ne nous permet de la cerner!
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dailight
:: Calvin Thomas ::
:: Calvin Thomas ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 190
Age : 28
Activité actuelle : Au Pair
Dates de mon séjour : 12 janvier 2009
Ville, ETAT : Sharon, MA
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 29/10/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Sam 01 Nov 2008, 2:17 pm

coucou, voici déjà un essai de ma lettre. J'attends vos avis, bisous bisous

Dear host family,
I’m called Noémie and I’m twenty years since September 14. I live in Gérardmer in the Vosges, in France. It’s a small city with a beautiful lake, where the winter you can also ski. I live of it with my parents and my sister Marion, who are 18 years old. My father is municipal employee and my mother commercial assistant. My sister is in a riding school. We also have a dog, Nala. My family support me in my decision to go in United States.
I had my final exam, literary option two years ago and I’ve just finished a professional diploma of two years in the communication and the advertisement. I had my licence drive since two years, and never had accident.
I’m a smiling, dynamic and positive person. I like the theater and the dance and I’m fascinated of movies. I’m attracted in general by arts. I also practice sport. My main activities are probably to write, to listen to music, but also to go out with my family and my friends.
After my year in USA, my dream is to open an agency of communication and events, in France or elsewhere.
If I want to leave, it’s especially for three reasons.
First because I like. I like to see to smile them, to learn and to bloom. I like to take care also of them, to play with them and always to invent new activities. I’m a creative person, with me the children won't be always to watching television. I’ve many experience with children.
For example, it now make six years that I often keep a small girl, Léna. I see it growing and to become a young girl. She’s today ten years. With her, we play all activities that the girls of her age like: to dance, to make up, to cook, to read,...
Two years ago I kept Jérémy, a trisomic boy who has today 19 years. It’s a very difficult work, because isn’t never to rush it and to be very attentive to what he feels. He's a very lovable boy, who allowed me to be again more to listening.
Three years ago, I kept three brothers, during one summer. They had 4, 6 and 11 years. They were very turbulent and a lot of patience was necessary so that they remain quiet. The fact that they are more or less aged permitted me to vary my activities: of reading for the smallest to the strategic games for the biggest.
Occasionally, I keep a colleague's two small boys as to my mother: Luca and Jules. They are two and four years old.
I also keep the children of my neighbours, friends, or family. They are of all age, what is a positive point for me.
Now, I want to take care of your children. I’m a responsible and quiet person. I want to be for them as a big sister. But I will know to be also authoritative when it’s necessary.
I want to leave also to improve my English. It’s not perfect and I think that today, it’s indispensable to have a mastery of this language. I want to work in the communication and English is necessary in this sector. Besides, maybe that one day I will work out of France.
Finally I want to go to the United States because I dream to travel. I like to discover new cultures and new life styles (culture, kitchen, fashion). I hope also to teach you my culture. I will give myself a pleasure for example to cook you of the French dishes.
I’m the au pair girl that you need and I hope indeed to meet you shortly.
In a friendly way,

Noémie


édit : Bonne lettre. Erreurs mais compréhensible.

Points positifs
- Elle décrit rapidement le lieu où elle habite (lac, ski…).
- Elle dit qu’elle est créative avec les enfants et qu’avec elle, ils ne passeront pas leur temps devant la télévision.
- Elle décrit le caractère des enfants qu’elle a gardé et les difficultés qu’elle a rencontrées en s’en occupant!
- Lettre complète.

Points à améliorer
- Attention, mot manquant « i like. » (children je suppose!)
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http://voyageaupair.unblog.fr
Marine2151
:: STS ::
:: STS ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 148
Age : 29
Activité actuelle : Au Pair à Cincinnati
Ville, ETAT : Cincinnati, OHIO
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 02/09/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Lun 10 Nov 2008, 10:43 pm

Je vous poste ma lettre, en espérant avoir des critiques dessus (bien que, je l'admets, ma lettre est longue )

Dear host family,

Hi ! My name is Marine and I'm 21 years old, I live in a small village near Rheims (the city of champagne) named Prunay.
My parents are separated. Actually, I'm living with my mother Catherine (who is a secretary), my stepfather Dominique (who is a quality warehousing and repacker manager), my 19-year-old sister Julia and my cat Noisette. My sister currently studies commerce.
My father Laurent (who works as a clerk in a telecommunications company) and my stepmother Lucienne (who is a cook) live in the south of France in a village named Beaumont-lès-Valence.
Though my father lives far from home, I am used to going and seeing him every summer.
I'm happy that all my family agrees with my decision to spend a year in the United States except my mom who was afraid of that decision at the beginning. But fortunately, she changed her mind and now, everything is fine ! She helps me to make my dream becoming true.

Concerning my studies, I started to learn English, Spanish and commerce in high school in 2004 but I didn't like it (actually, I didn't like commerce). So I changed and moved to Nancy with a friend to start another academic program. I studied communication, journalism and English from 2005 to 2008 and I have been graduated in July 2008. I have been living on my own in my flat in Nancy for 3 years. During this time, I really became more independent, mature and responsible. Later, I want to be a musical journalist (specially a rock journalist) so that I think I have to be very good at English to interview bands and singers. I have already worked for a French music magazine (in Nancy), I wrote articles about music, CDs and festivals.
I really love languages and I have already studied Portuguese, Italian, German, Spanish, Latin and of course English (but I'm better in English than in all the other languages !). I would like to learn more vocabulary and to speak English fluently.
When I'll go back home, I would like to continue my studies and to enter a journalism school in Paris. And later (in 2011 maybe), I would like to do a humanitarian work in a poor country like in Africa or in South America. I think I will make myself useful over there.

My family and my friends are really important for me ! Though I am very close to them, I am independent. As I said before, I have been living on my own far from home and I didn't go back home every weekend (actually I went back home every 2 weekends to take care of Raphael and Anthony). I get used to live far from my family and my friends. My parents are separated but I do have good relationships with my stepmother and my stepfather as I consider them as my parents.
Otherwise, most of my family is living near Rheims, my grandparents even live just in front of our house. We are neighbours ! I'm going and seeing them every day.
My father has 4 brothers and 1 sister so I have lots of cousins and I really love taking care of them, though most of them are now teenagers. I try to spend much time as possible with them.
I don't have many friends but they all are really good friends. I know I can trust them and they know they can trust me. I'm always here for them. When they're in trouble, I always do my best to help them and to cheer them up. But as they live far from me (many live in Paris, others in the South of France), I see them about once a month but everytime we see each other, we spend wonderful and unforgettable moments together.

Now let's talk about my hobbies : I like going to the cinema and watching movies (Tarantino and Hitchcock are my favorites !), playing video games, hanging out with my friends, spending time with children and with my family. I also enjoy doing sports (swimming, running, basketball...), playing guitar, listening to rock music and going to rock concerts, reading books, cooking for my friends and my family (pastas are my speciality) and doing shopping. I'm also a huge fan of American TV series !
When I was young, I used to be very sporty (but I still love sports). I took part in gymnastics, handball, basketball and orienteering course contests. I love running too. I've already run 2 marathon races.
Though I am a little bit shy at the beginning, I am a dynamic, open-minded, funny, independent, serious, responsible and trustworthy person. I like having fun with my friends or with kids but I know the limits and I can assume responsibilities.

I really want to be an au pair as I love taking care of kids. When I was in Nancy, I took care of 3 children once a week : Pierre (6 months), Marion (2) and Camille (13). I looked after them and played with them. I also helped Camille to do her homework (actually I give her French and English lessons). I did bottle and spoon feeding for Pierre and Camille, potty training and changed their diapers, prepared their meals, gave them the bath and sometimes put them to bed.
Marion loved me as she always did hugs to me. It was so cute. Unfortunately, this family moved away from Nancy and we lost touch.
From the 26th of March 2006 until the 30th of June 2008, I took care of two adorable boys : Anthony and Raphael. Actually, I took care of Raphael from March 2006 to March 2007, 5 hours per Saturday and twice a month. He was 3 months old at the beginning and 15 months old at the end. From May 2007 to June 2008, I took care of Anthony 4 hours per Saturday and twice a month. He was 1 month old at the beginning and 13 months old at the end (in the same time, I also took care of Raphael). I did a lot of things with them : bottle and spoon feeding, burping, changing diapers, give them the bath, "playing" with them, putting them to bed and walking in pushchair. I really enjoy taking care of them, they are so innocent, so cute. I really love babies or little kids. We can teach them so many things, teach them how to walk, tell them some words they try to repeat ; they are so touching and adorable !
I do love it !
Last summer and this summer, I went to the South and saw my father. A friend of him came in July 2007 (between the 1st and the 15th of July) and in August 2008 (between the 1st and the 15th of August) and I took care of her little boy, Matéo. He was 1 year old last year and 2 this summer. I took care of him
2 hours per day and 4 days per week. He was a premature baby. He is so cute and so adorable. He always wanted to play with me and to communicate with me. I heard him telling his first words.
This summer, he used to "dance" with me. We had so much fun together ! I do love him ! I did spoon and bottle feeding, played with him and took him for a walk in his pushchair.
During my free time, I love spending time with my cousins. I saw them this summer. We had so much fun ! I supervised them at swimming, we cooked together, we talked a lot (about school, holidays...). I love them so much.

Going to the US as an au pair would be a wonderful opportunity to improve my English and in the same time to take care of children. I would like to discover your country, your culture...the American way of life ! I do like the American music and I'm a music addict (as I said before, I wanna be a music journalist).
I would like to share my culture with you, teach you and your children some French words. I really want to be part of your family, to be like the "big sister" for your kids.
I will take care of your children, play wth them, draw, go for a walk, cook for them, sing with them...
I'm ready to do as many activities as possible to make them happy and have fun.
Indeed, I love the American culture. Four years ago, American students came to visit my city. We welcame 2 girls, Leah (18) and Mona (19). They stayed only 4 days at home but we shared lots of things. We talked a lot and went out (bowling, shopping, cinema). I even taught them some French words.
It was such a great, human and funny experience that I won't never forget it !
Finally, I would like to discover your country as I really love travelling !
I have already been to Canada, Tunisia, Spain, Italy, United Kingdom, Switzerland, Germany, Belgium and Luxembourg but I've never been to the US, that's why I chose that country. It's one of my dream since I'm a child.

I just want you to know that I don't have my driver's license in France as I didn't have the time to get it until now. I hope you won't mind. However, I'll intend to take it in the United States.

I cant' wait for spending a year in the US in your family and being part of it and hope we'll spend wonderful moments together. I am in a hurry to meeting you !
I look forward to hearing from you soon !

Best regards,

Marine.


édit : Bonne lettre, agréable à lire, mais trop longue. Bon anglais.

Points positifs
- Elle parle bien d’elle, de ses loisirs : on la cerne bien à travers cette lettre.
- La lettre est extrêmement complète.

Points à améliorer
- La lettre est trop longue, des petits détails peuvent être supprimés :
* le fait que sa mère n’était pas d’accord au départ (elle pourra en parler plus tard éventuellement).
* petits détails comme le fait qu’elle soit partie faire ses études avec une amie, qu’elle ait étudié tant de langues au lycée (puisqu’elle en reparle ensuite!), l’année du lycée, etc.
* répétition du fait qu’elle ne vit pas à la maison 3 fois!
* Moins détailler pour parler de sa famille : grands-parents, cousins, etc.
* Dire que les amis habitent loin, etc. (laissez-en pour quand vous discuterez avec la famille!).
* Moins détailler ses hobbies (quelques répétitions, regrouper des choses).
* les dates précises de ses baby-sittings (au jour près!!) : remplacer par « pendant 2 ans ». Il faudrait réorganiser cette partie! Parler d’eux séparément, puis comme les mêmes choses ont été faites avec eux, pour le second, juste donner son âge et dire que les mêmes activités ont été faites. Il est inutile de préciser toutes les dates!
* De nouveau les dates par la suite!! Inutile de préciser la prématurité de l’enfant.
* Répétition du fait qu’elle aime passer du temps avec ses cousins.
* etc etc.
à Même en supprimant toutes ces choses, la lettre reste trop longue! Il faut vraiment vraiment réduire!
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
oxane
:: Fée Rêvée ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 36
Age : 28
Activité actuelle : Future étudiante en MC, et future au pair =)
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 16/08/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Mer 12 Nov 2008, 1:48 pm

J'en ai lu qqs unes et de ce que j'ai pu lire elles sont biens!

Voilà la mienne, j'attends vos avis Laughing

Dear host family,

My name is Melanie, I’m 21 years old and I live near Nantes, in the Western France. My parents are divorced and I live with my mother but I often see my father wich I keep very good relations. I have got two younger brother and sister : (Romain, 17) and Alice (14), and two dogs. My mother, Christine (43), is cashier and my father, Daniel, (44), is a logisitic manager. I got my driving license in January 2008 and my own car. I'm used to drive. I don't smoke.

About my studies, I have the "baccalaureat" (A-levels equivalent). I received a reception hostess and switchboard operator formation. For now, I'm a commercial employee in a big shop. This isn't a life-long job, but only for one year. I want to go to the USA to improve my English and to be able to work in tourism, when I'll go back in France.

My family and I have goods relationships, and they support me in my decision to go to the USA. They think it will be a great experience for me. They know how it is important for me to take care of children and to travel.

Why do I love children? Because they are full of energy, of imagination, of curiosity. We learn a lot to being with them. I’ve always had good contacts with them. Their blossoming is very important for me, this is why I’m pay attention to their needs and their desires. However, I can also fix limits when it’s necessary. Children are very important for me, I like to be with theim. This is why I want to be an au pair.

I've chosen the USA because since my youngest age I've been dreaming of visiting this country. I like the culture melting pot, and I am really impatient to discover the American way of life. Going to the USA as an au pair, is an opportunity I wouldn't miss for anything!

Concerning my children experience, during 6 months, I've been working as a baby-sitter for 6 months. I took care of Teddy (2), two evenings a week and on Saturdays (the day long). I took care of him during all the evenning and all the day for saturdays. On account of his young age, I learnt a lot with him. Their parents did trust me and it's very important for me!
During 2 years, I took care of Albanne (7) and Erwan (10). I was in charge of helping them to getting dressed, preparing their meals, picking them up from shcool, helping them to doing thier homework, having their bath and bringing Albanne to her dancing's lessons. I liked to cook for them because they were fond of food.
But the best childcare experience I have is with my four little cousins : Arthur (3) Aurelien (7), Adrien (9) and Antoine (12). I think it's my best childcare experience because they are four and ... what energetic and funny boys! I often take care of them because their mother is a firewoman! In addition to the regular tasks of baby sitting, I do a lot of activities with them. They are so dynamic and creative : we play parlour games, we playing outdoor, we draw, we paint, we make modelling clay, we go to the park, to the cinema, to the swimming pool ...
Last summer, I took care of children's group in the equestrian center where I ride. I did a lot of activities with the kids : I helped them riding their horses, accompanied them for walks, helped them snacking and play to theory games with them in rapport with horses. Spending time with children is always a pleasure for me!

Now, let's talk about me. I would describe me as open minded, curious, serviable, friendly and good tempered. My friends says I'm trustworthy and someone who listens a lot to people. I always smile! I like sports : I practised dancing for 9 years and I have been practising horse riding for 10 years. I got my 'Galop 5' and I regularly compete. Next July, I will make the championships of France with my horse, I can't wait! During my free time, I love to go to the cinema, to be with my friends, to listen to music, to shop and to watch american series! I'm a huge fan of them!

It will be an unforgettable experience, and I want to realize my dream with you and your children! I really want to be integrate in your family and I will to take care of your children as if they were my own little brothers and sisters. I think this experience is a wonderful exchange!

Don't hesitate to contact in order to know me better!

Best regards,

Melanie


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais correct.

Points positifs
- Elle précise qu’elle est habituée à conduire.
- lettre complète : elle aborde tous les domaines (famille, motivations, études, expérience, loisirs…)

Points à améliorer
- Répétition : « je m’occupais de Teddy deux soirs par semaine et le samedi (toute la journée). Je m’en occupais toute la soirée et toute la journée le samedi. » : elle dit deux fois exactement la même chose! Par contre, elle ne décrit pas ce qu’elle faisait avec lui, aucune anecdote!!
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
http://mel-in-usa.skyblog.com
emy
:: Calvin Thomas ::
:: Calvin Thomas ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 274
Age : 28
Dates de mon séjour : 18 mai 2009/18 mai 2010
Ville, ETAT : Princeton New Jersey
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 16/11/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Lun 01 Déc 2008, 8:15 pm

Voila je me lance je compte sur vous pour avoir votre opinion!!
merci d'avance! Si il y a des fautes et je sais qu'il y en a dite le moi.

Dear host family,

I’m Delphine, I’m twenty years old since July the 25. I live in a village named Jaux in Picardie. I live with my parents: Jean-Marie, my father, who is a military and Anita, my mother, who is an ambulance driver, and with my brother named Alexandre. One year ago for my birthday, one of my friends made me a very original present: this is my cat named Cady. When I said to my family that I wanted to the United States, I was 18. Now I feel that I’m more mature than before, and I know one years is going to past quickly. My mom is really happy to me, but she is a mother, she is a little scared too. My father said to me that it’s a great opportunity to me; I can share a different culture and learn a new language. Now my reason to be your au pair, to discover a new culture of course, to help you to have a little more privacy in your parents’ life to perfect my English and maybe if you want, to make you learn some words of my language: French.

It’s really hard to describe myself in a piece of paper, I begin first I had my high school diploma speciality literature. Next I made a formation in order to prepare me to become auxiliary child welfare. I succeed the exam but there were no enough places in the school. So I decide to become an au pair, when I was young, I was always with the babies and not with grown ups. What are my hobbies? I love, during the week end, going out with my friends playing billiard and bowling, doing shopping. The Sunday I prefer staying with my family and going to the cinema. My friends say that I’m a funny girl always smiling and sometimes shy especially when I don’t know the people and after I’m not shy anymore. I like shopping of course, I’m a girl. My favourite place is Disneyland because when I’m there I feel like when I was young. Many times in the years, I go to my cousin’s home near to Paris and we spend a week end to Paris, we make shopping, go to the “champs élysées” or to the Eiffel tower. I love be with her because she is almost like me, she became an au pair in a family in Chicago. I have got some quality like facility to adapt me to a new environment and I’m very patient .

During the holiday of 2006, I take care of two children Adrien 5 years old and Justine 2years old. The first day, it was a little hard because we didn’t know each other. They played with their own toys, they was really quiet. The next day, there was a really hot day so I decided to go with them in their swimming pool. Justine was scared about water, so I take her in my arms and she didn’t want to let me go and we played together all the afternoon.
In November 2007 to February 2008, I worked in a crèche during one month with children between 6 month and 4 years old. Every morning was hugs and kiss because I tried to make them stop crying because their mother leaved to work. Most of time, I preferred staying with the children than being with my colleagues. All day we played with puzzle, sometimes we sang some songs for kids with a musician who came to play in the crèche. Every Tuesday morning, we took 6 children to go to the library to take some book. After the nap and changes their diapers of course, we read the books to them.
I worked in an elementary school, with kids between 5 and 6 years old during two weeks. I helped them to make their homework. When they had finished their exercises, there was some Christmas scene on paper and we had to colour it with pencils or sometimes with painting. During the sport class, we was always laughing because of their exercises, one of them was to throw balls and try to touch the others and the others have to avoid balls. When it was time to go back to school, children was always fighting to hold my hand. We had some of friend relationship.

To conclude, I really like to be a part of your family, not only an au pair. I really like to be your au pair, and to pass a fantastic year in your side with your children. I’m really impatient to hear you and thanks to have read my letter.
Best of regards,

Delphine


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais correct (erreurs mais très compréhensible).

Points positifs
- Elle décrit bien ses expériences avec les enfants : anecdotes..

Points à améliorer
- Préciser l'âge du frère.
- Dommage que pour la première expérience, elle ne parle que des deux premiers jours!
- Attention à la traduction de "crèche" (aux US = crèche avec le petit Jésus uniquement).
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
http://emyauxusa.unblog.fr/
SEMPER FIDELIS
:: Butterfly et Papillon ::
:: Butterfly et Papillon ::


Masculin Nombre de messages : 254
Age : 29
Activité actuelle : Au pair
Ville, ETAT : Annandale, VA
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 28/11/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Mar 02 Déc 2008, 6:40 pm

salut

voila je voudrais avoir des avis svp, il doit avoir plein de fautes dans ma lettre, mais c'est pas grave, c'est juste un brouillon, je corrigerai quand elle sera finie

merci

Dear host family

My name is Ilyes BODIN, I’m 21 years old, I live in Thomery, it’s a charming small town which is 50 miles away from Paris. Small towns very quiet near the forest.

After been successful for my baccalaureate (high school diploma), I’ve decided to keep on the same way of study, so I decided to continue in a BTS Business Assistant in two years. I choose to stop it after a year because I’ve tried to work as an account assistant in a toy store, and I realize that an office work is not for me. I would like being helpful, make a real difference, so I decided to come back at my first love, the police. I will try the hardest I can to become a police officer, a very useful job, where I can really help my community, had contact with the population, try to do my best to resolve people problems, keep the street safe for our children, and help people to turn them in the right way. Since I’m a young boy, I’ve always watch soap operas like Cops, The night rider, Chips, Starsky and Hutch, I think it reinforce me to being a good person.

My family find out become police officer is dangerous, but I think if I don’t try to become one, and if everybody think that way, no one will try, and that’s not possible, and I’m so motivated to become a policeman, that I will never stop until I become one.
My father is a responsible person, a little strict, but only because it’s in our interest. He work as an administrative employee in a world company, Véolia, and he only had to work 3 more year to retired, and he need it, because he always work hard for us, to gave us what we need.
My mother is a really protective mom, she’s a nursery assistant, so I grow in a baby universe, since my first hours, until now, there are baby all the time at the house, so I’ve become a mom assistant, I always help my mom, so in that way, I have to keep children, because sometimes, when you have a lot of children in the houses, it can be a little noisy, and baby don’t appreciate noise. My mother will also retired in 3 or 4 years, and have the rest she deserve.
My big sister is still at the school, she is in the fifth year of law, she wants to become a lawyer, she study hard every day, and sometimes, she can be irritating, she wants silence in a home where there are 3 babies, or more aged children, and that’s not possible.
My small brother will pass his high school diploma this year, and want to being a it technician, so he will continue school during two years.
Concerning my friends, I’ve learn with the times that only few ones stay at your sides, during the good and the bad times, my best friend, Julien, lives in front of my house, I know him since he’s 3 or 4 months, my mother was his nurse, and we still be friend, he’s someone who you can cont on him, always be there for you, we play together in the same football team, have the same car, and approximately the same hobbies, and he also want to be a police officer, but not in National police, but in National gendarmerie. I have other close friend, but he is special, he is like my brother, and I also always be there for him.

I do a lot of mechanics during my free time, whether it is for me or for friends. I usually repair car, motorcycle, and everything which need a little fix. I play quarterback and line backer in a football team, we are a young team but really motivated, and I think we doing great now. I love fishing with my dad and my brother, sometimes Julien come with us, I also practice roller skating, mountain bike, tennis, swimming, baseball, basket. I play rarely video games. I like go to the cinema, attractions Park, museum, zoo, go watch a football game.

I start babysitting when I was approximately fifteen, I use to keep the neighbours children, and with time, and the mouth with hear, I have to look after kids who come from the entire town. When I started to baby sit, I have to look after children mostly aged of 7 or 8 years, but with the times, I get down on the age pyramid to mostly look after babies. I have a lot of experience with children, especially children between few months to 3 years. I’ve learn to keep children before baby-sit, my mother teach me how to take care of kids and babies. I have a thing to get easily contact with children, especially with boys. The most important things I’ve learn are, communications, always be reactive, have eyes everywhere, never back on security.
2008: I’ve kept a little girl who’s named Nora, she one and a half year. I have to look after her from 8.30 am to 6.30 pm, during all the august month.
2006-2008: I’ve baby-sit the most beautiful, nice, intelligent boy of the world, I love him so much that when I can, I baby-sit him for free, and it don’t matter how many times I had, I use to look after Enzo every day, from 5 pm to 7 pm. Enzo was one year old when I started.
2005: I had to take care of Edouard and Charlotte during a year, Edouard was 2 years old, and Charlotte 8 years old, they were really nice.
I don’t keep just that children but there were some children that I use to keep during a year minimum, near that, I’ve done some day to day baby-sit, and I still done it until now.

My motivations to become an au pair are that I wan to share life with an American family, learn from each others, discover your environment, your traditions, you way of life to be simple. Secondly, I love children, play with them, learn them new things, and help them to grow. Become an au pair will permit me to done all that things in the same time. I’m serious, motivated, open mind, and I really want to become au pair.


édit : Bonne lettre mais un peu longue. Anglais correct (erreurs mais très compréhensible).

Points positifs
- Il explique les raisons de ses projets professionnels, ce qui donne un bon aperçu de sa personnalité.
- Il décrit sa famille non seulement avec leurs métiers mais aussi leurs personnalités.

Points à améliorer
- Un peu longue. Petits détails à supprimer :
* le fait que ses parents trouvent que devenir policier est dangereux + explications (il a déjà bien parlé de cette profession, il faut se limiter, la lettre doit être assez rapide! Il est temps de parler du projet actuel : être au pair!
* le fait que ses parents seront bientôt retraités!
* faire un seul paragraphe sur la famille : tout regrouper. Et limiter certains détails!
* concernant son meilleur ami : répétitions + supprimer le détail police/gendarmerie!
* ne pas détailler autant les âges des enfants, il a déjà dit qu'il a progressivement surtout gardé des bébés, inutile de le redire!
* Il a déjà parlé de sa maman et de l'aide qu'il lui donnait, inutile de le répéter!
--> En supprimant tout cela, on arrive à peu près à la taille demandée.
- Attention, traduire BTS ou expliquer.
- Ce n'est pas un CV! Ne pas présenter les expériences "par année"!
- Plutôt que d'insister sur combien il aime le petit Enzo, peut-être raconter ce qu'il faisait avec lui! De façon générale, ceci s'applique un peu pour toutes les expériences, aucune expérience n'est détaillée. Il insiste sur combien de temps il les a gardé, etc. Tout ceci apparaît dans le dossier, la lettre sert à "faire vivre" ces expériences à l'aide d'anecdotes, etc.
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
julien



Masculin Nombre de messages : 3
Age : 29
Activité actuelle : etudiant en commerce
Dates de mon séjour : à partir du 10 août 2009
Ville, ETAT : Mc Kinney, TEXAS
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 02/08/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Sam 20 Déc 2008, 2:35 am

salut tout le monde!!
voilà, en plein dans mon dossier je viens de finir ma lettre!
j'attends vos commentaires
a bientôt
+++

Dear host family,

My name is Julien Kibler and i'm 21 years old. I live in « Herrlisheim près Colmar » near Germany. I live with my parents and I have one brother and one sister. My father is a businessman, and my mother a nurse. My brother is 18 and my sister 9. I have good relations with my family, and they support me in my project to go to the United States of America. They think that it will be a good experience for me and my future.

I chose the program of « au pair » because I love to be with children. I love playing with them, doing sport with them, drawing and I always having fun with them. Moreover, to go to the USA is my dream since I’m a kid, and I want to improve my English because I’d like to study tourism (and the English language has to be perfect) or continue my studies in the USA. And I do want to discover the American culture and this large country.

I have some experience with children. I’m a karate professor, and I teach children since 2 years around seven hours per week. They are between 6 and 15 years old. It’s really interesting and fun to teach them. I passed an exam for teaching karate where I studied pedagogy for children.
Moreover I was Arnaud (8 years old) and Thibaut’s babysitter (5 years old). I kept them during their vacation and I helped Arnaud to do his homework. I was their babysitter during the summer holidays and Christmas vacation. I did that during three years.

About myself, I am a dynamic person and lot of people say that I have buttload imagination because I always find games and new games for distract children! You can trust in me, I am a responsible man. Moreover, I love sport, especially karate, football (American football) and basketball and I like music, to go to cinema with friends, the museum, in the city…

I studied accounting and management in highschool and I passed my ‘Baccalauréat‘(high school diploma). Now I’m studying business in high sportsmen classroom at the University. Moreover I work in Mac Donald’s to pay my student life. After my year in the USA I would like to study tourism that’s why it is very important to study English. I’m sure that it will be a great experience for me.

I think that we will spend an excellent year together and that it will be very beneficial for me.

I can’t wait to meet you, to take care of your children and discover your country. I’d love to do my American dream in your family

I hope to see you soon!!

Julien.


édit : Bonne lettre (à compléter un peu). Anglais correct.

Points positifs
- Lettre complète.

Points à améliorer
- Développer davantage ses expériences avec les enfants : activités, anecdotes... Il y a déjà peu d'expériences, donc il faut vraiment les mettre en valeur, le paragraphe est trop court!
- Le paragraphe sur son tempérament et ses loisirs est également un peu court.
- Dire que cette année sera bénéfique pour lui, mais également pour la famille!
- De façon générale, la lettre pourrait être développée davantage!
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ophelie587
:: Calvin Thomas ::
:: Calvin Thomas ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 66
Age : 29
Activité actuelle : Ex - Au Pair !!
Dates de mon séjour : Départ le 22 Juin 2009 / Retour le 13 Juillet 2010
Ville, ETAT : Rockville, MD
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 05/11/2008

MessageSujet: Ma lettre !!   Jeu 12 Fév 2009, 6:20 pm

Salut !!
Bon je ne sais toujours pas si je acceptée ou non mais j'ai décidé de rediger ma lettrepour prendre de l'avance au cas où...

Merci de me donner vos avis !!!

Dear Host Family,

My name is Ophélie, and I am 21 years old (soon 22). I live in Mandres Les Roses with my parents, about 13 miles from Paris. My father is in early retirement; my mother doesn’t work since a few years and she’s thinking to make a beautician training. My brother is 34, is married, he has 2 little girls and he’s technical manager. I also have a boyfriend since 4 years, he is 23 and he is a landscape gardener. We all have really goods relations and the support me in my decision to live one year as an Au Pair in the United States, they really enjoy it!!

I choose the Au Pair’s program because I would like to discover another way of life, another culture and improve my English, and as I love to take care of children’s, this program is like an obvious fact to me!!!

I have several experiences with children. When I was 15, I was looking after Annabelle (4) on every Tuesday; I go to get her at the nursery school, cook her dinner, take her bath and play with her. The year afters, I still take care of her on Tuesday, but sometimes also on Thursdays; and on Friday evening, I was looking after her, Solenne (4) and Orianne (7) during theirs parents was taking dancing lessons.
When I was 17, I was looking after twins, Julie and Nikita (8), I was go to get them at elementary school, checked their homework and play with them on every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.

Since 2006, I’m an auntie and I love it!! Margaux is 3 and Emma is born in October. I really love to take care of them!! I really feel at ease with babies!! I know to bottle-feed, change nappies, give the bath, and even sing wonderful lullaby!! I love to see babies grow up!! With Margaux, we go to zoo, we cook cakes, we make drawing and play to all the games she wants!!

Moreover, go back to the USA it’s my dream. I already came near Detroit when I was 13 and even if a made a lot of travels, this one sound really special to me! That’s why I choose this country to live my extraordinary adventure as an Au Pair.

Now about me… I’m a dynamic person, fun, serious and responsible!! During my time off, I see my friends and my family, go to cinema, and make sport... I like shopping, listen music…

I get a certificate of management (in 2 years after the A levels) and since a year, I’m working in a bank, at risk’s department as an administrator. I'm also a town council at school and social affair's, that’s really interesting.
I get my driver’s license nearly 2 years ago and I have my own car.

After this year in the US, I hope to have a really good English level and it will be easier to find a job. I don’t know exactly which job will I practice but I know that I would like to speak English commonly, so maybe in an international company, or in an English school or even in an Au Pair’s organization!

I would like to specify that I don’t want to be treating as an employee but become a member of your family, that’s really the most important for me!

Hope to hear you soon,

Ophélie


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais correct (erreurs mais très compréhensible).

Points positifs
- Lettre complète.

Points à améliorer
- La partie sur les expériences avec les enfants n'est pas assez développée! Il faut raconter les activités réalisées, donner des anecdotes, que ce ne soit pas redondant avec ce qui apparaît déjà dans votre dossier!
- La partie où elle se décrit (tempérament et loisirs) est également trop courte.
- Eviter de préciser que l'on n'a pas envie d'être traitée comme une employée, se contenter de dire qu'elle veut être intégrée à la famille!
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
http://ophelie.travelblog.fr
Helloya
:: Calvin Thomas ::
:: Calvin Thomas ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 221
Age : 29
Activité actuelle : Ex Au Pair, futur étudiante
Dates de mon séjour : 06 juillet 2009 - janvier 2011.
Ville, ETAT : Scarsdale, NY
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 16/01/2009

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Mer 18 Fév 2009, 3:26 am

J'aimerais beaucoup avoir quelques conseils pour améliorer ma lettre. Je sais qu'il y a des fautes mais je l'ai rédigé seule, je voudrais savoir si c'est comme même compréhensible.
En ce qui concerne la longueur, en interligne 1,5 écriture arial 11 cela fait deux pages, donc si je doit étoffer une partie (peut etre sur les enfants) je doit en réduire une, ce qui est possible, bref ce n'est qu'une première version.
Merci de me lire!

Edit après les corrections demandé par Calvin Thomas (en souligné et barré)

Dear host family

First, thank you to read my letter. My name is Elodie, I will be twenty two in June. I’m live in a small town with my parents and my brother. I‘m a student in literature and linguistic in third year of licence at the Sorbonne. So I go to Paris every day.

My brother Arnold is twenty and he is a postman. My father works in a train society. He is crazy about mountain bike and motorbike. My mother is a medical secretary; she is the best cook I know. I’m close to my family, my parents are great, they always let me make my choice and act by myself. When I was eighteen, I left them for my studies and I lived alone for one year to Bordeaux. I went home after this year with pleasure but with the desire of to go again. Because I know I can be independant.

I have a big family, a lot of aunt, uncle and cousins, but I am the only girl so I am very protected and spoiled, I am the only who have make three years of study after the graduate so they are proud of me. When I tell them “I want to go to the USA and be an au pair”, they very supported me, encouraged me because they know I always loved take care of children.

I began baby sitting when I was fifteen, during high school, with my cousins Alexandre and Nicolas, aged 4 and 7. Every Saturday afternoon, we play at game of society board game, we walk outside and we watch a lot of Disney movies.
Since one year I baby sit Zoé aged 4 and his brother Marius aged 1, two nights by month. I give them the bath, the dinner, and I do the bedtime. Now I know them, for example it’s hard to put to bed Zoé, so one hour before the sleep, I talk more slowly, quietly, I say what we will do, and I respect this program, (brush teeth, a story then in bed!) the first time I never succeed but now I always do, I’m proud of me when she sleeps and her parents prefer when it’s me who put to bed Zoé.
Since few months, I take care of Valentine and Hadrian 3 and 6, every Monday and Friday until July. After school, we go to the park, I’m afraid they are hungry, thirsty, cold or tired. When the park close, we go home and we do a lot of activity like drawing, painting, sculpture with dough clay…
For the bath, Valentine always says no, it’s almost funny. No! She doesn’t want to undress, to go in the water, to be washed, but after, she doesn’t want to go out of bath, to get dress.
After I go home but it’s often difficult because I loved them and I like to know how they are and take a part in their life.

About me: Between six and seventeen year, I went to summer camp, I made a lot of activities like canoe, windsurfing, diving, astronomy, hiking, camping, big outdoor games and I even went to Croatia, Sardinia, Munich and Vienna.
I have been swimming since I was 6; I swim a lot when I have the time. I also go to cycling. In the Sorbonne, I met some friends who are close to me; together we go to the museums and expositions in Paris. I like to take photos and make scrap booking. I cook, I’m a little greedy, I make muffins, cookies but my brother prefers when I make some “crêpes à la fleur d’oranger” it’s like pancakes. At the moment, I begin to try to knit. I like try new activity. I read a lot. I’m crazy about TV shows, about fashion and shopping. I drive since four years, my parents lend me their car frequently.

I think my quality to be a good au pair are that I adapt easily, I am independent, I really motivated, I want to help my future host family, I love the children, take care of them, and play with tem. The children love me too because I am nice, gentle, patient and funny. And I know a lot of thing about the childhoods because often I’m like a child myself, I like cartoon for example but I can have authority.

I want to be an au-pair, because I love children, I want to speak English, and live in different culture for one year maybe more. After this year, I want to go back in France to continue my studies and make a master (two years). I hesitated between a master to become a teacher of French for non French speaker and a master to become a schoolmistress but I know I want to work with children or students.

At the moment, I think a lot about my future life with you, I’m sure this it’s that I want to do. I know it’s good to me; it’s a wonderful experience which will make grow me. So I am very excited, I am already in the plane in my mind. And I hope heard about you soon.

Yours sincerely,


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais correct.
(commentaires faits après les modifications réalisées sur conseils de CT).

Points positifs
- Elle décrit bien ses expériences avec les enfants, anecdotes à l'appui, elle fait "vivre" ses expériences à travers sa lettre!
- Lettre complète.

Points à améliorer
- Préciser son projet professionnel.


Dernière édition par Helloya le Jeu 26 Fév 2009, 8:01 pm, édité 1 fois
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Tephao
:: Au pair care ::
:: Au pair care ::


Masculin Nombre de messages : 31
Age : 28
Activité actuelle : Etudiant
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 12/01/2009

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Jeu 26 Fév 2009, 5:42 pm

Voici ma lettre de motivation
Je suis loin d'etre bilingue et une amie a moi ma aidée pour quelques formulations.
Pouvez vous me dire ce que vous en penser svp et ce qu'il faut rectifier car je suis sur qu'il faut rectifier pas mal de choses

merci

The reason why I’m writing to you is because I want you to know a bit more about myself. My name is Gaetan Salles, I was born on November the 3rd of 1988 at Colombes near Paris. After many house movings because of my dad’s job, he’s a policeman, I’m now living in Gardanne, a city close to Marseille in the south of France.

We are four in the family and we all live together in a nice little villa in Gardanne. I have got a 17 years old sister and I'm getting on very well with her. A little bit more about my parents : my father is 45 years old and works as a policeman, my mother is 43 years old and works in a bank. I'm fond of pets, in fact I have got a cat called "Destinée" ("Destiny" in English!). I'm currently studying for a BTS NRC (Negotiation Client Relation) and I'm planning on becoming a financial analyst.

I took the decision on my own to live abroad for a year as a "jeune au pair" and my parents immediately agreed. I chose to go to the United States as a "jeune au pair" because I love being around children and I really think it would be useful to help me improve my English skills. The United States are a wonderful country, I fell in love with it and obviously its culture ! I've been there three times during these last three years. The American lifestyle corresponds with me, with my way of seeing life, in the future I'd really like to live in this country, this takes part of my dream

Since I was five years old my parents gave me the opportunity to go on summer camps, I loved it so much that I asked to go two times per year until I was seventeen. Thanks to that it made me want to take care of children, that's why I started to do some baby-sitting during my freetime. I started to baby-sit occasionally in 2006 thanks to my parents' acquaintances and also in the years 2007 and 2008.

These were joyful experiences, It made me aware of the fact that I adore playing with children and then I decided to baby-sit more frequently. I baby-sitted Julia, a little girl of seven years old in August 2008 while her parents were working. I cooked her meals for lunch and I often took her to walk-around in the park next to her home because it's an energetic child that can't stand to stay at home. I also baby-sitted Steve and Laura during "All Saints" Holidays, as they liked sports like I do, we went to the sports ground to have fun.

Concerning my personality, I'm someone who is always ready to listen to somebody's problem or anything, I'm full of consideration and I'm a smiling person ! I'm sportive as well and I would practice a sport with your children with pleasure if they want it too ! The numerous summer camps I have been to enabled me to know a lot of games to entertain children of any age. I'm well-ordered and well-disciplined, I'm not afraid of taking initiatives when I have to. Technology has no secret for me, if the children had problems with computers I would be ready to help them. I'm no chef concerning cooking but I can cook simple meals, I'm ready to learn and to adapt to your habits .

I hope that you want you know be more with this letter! Don't hesitate to call me if you need to know something else about me. I'm looking forward to living this new experience !

Yours faithfully


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais correct.

Points positifs
- Il aborde un peu tous les domaines.

Points à améliorer
- Ne pas oublier de commencer par "dear host family"
- Ajouter les prénoms des membres de sa famille.
- Traduire ou expliquer ce qu'est un BTS.
- Ne pas écrire "jeune au pair" qui ne sera pas compris, laisser "au pair" tout court.
- Le paragraphe sur les expériences avec les enfants est trop court : développer les activités, raconter des anecdotes. Il y a peu d'expériences, il faut les mettre en valeur.
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
leann
:: Au Pair In America ::
:: Au Pair In America ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 107
Age : 29
Dates de mon séjour : du 3 aout 2009 au 1 janvier 2011
Ville, ETAT : Burlington ( vermont )
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 03/09/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Ven 27 Fév 2009, 8:08 pm

Voila je viens de finir ma lettre, dite moi ce que vous en pensez svp( il doit avoir pas mal de fautes!! ) , j'ai eu un peu de mal pour la partie sur mes études et mon métier donc si vous avez des idées

Dear host family
My name is Laura, I’m 21 years old, a single, I’m living at Bourgoin Jallieu a small town south east France. I’m actually living with my parents, my mother Manuela she’s an accountant, and my father Alain is still working as technical customer service.
I have got a sister whish is married and has a child, she’s living very close to us at a very small village “Nivolas“, she’s working as a assistant direction in a small company. And her husband Mickaël, is working as a car paining them son Mathieu 5 years old go to school, from time to time I take-him to the park, the cinema, the zoo, I started to learn him to read.
We all have really good relations and my family, support me in my decision to life me years as an Au pair.

Regarding myself , I am a serious and responsible person, I like shopping, reading, cooking, going out, I often go to the cinema with my friends (Noémie, Virginie, Elise) I like the contact and also meeting people from different cultures and religions. I like to be helpful, taking care and listening to people.

I choose the au pair’s program because I love being with children. Children are very important for me, and I am enjoying taking care and playing with them. I like play with them, draw, play outside, manual activities… And I choose USA in order to perform my English and discover the American’s life family and the American dream.

My aim is to work in a very big luxury hotel as beautician, when I was a student at the « Silvya Terrade school » (studies for become beautician), after my studies I worked at the beauty salon at Bourgoin for a seven month contract my position was to welcome the customer to suggests them our care solutions, such as make up, manicures, it was a quiet good experience. And them I found a new job at the Club Med, I working at the Spa (massages, body and Faces treatments) and during the night I was doing a group activities such, as doing sporting activities, dancing show, playing games, I like my job !!

The reason why I want to do au pair because I like taking care after children, by going them food, wearing them clothes and taking them out too since. I was young my first experience was with my nephew Mathieu.
I was taking care on every Tuesday during 4 years, Malo 2 years old and his sister Fanny 5 years old. I cook for them, play with them, wash them…
Matisse, I keep it since it has 6 months, actually 5 years old, every Saturday and every holidays. I play with them (Drawings, modeling clay, painting, games…).He’s really sweet and adorable.

I would like to go to the United state of America because it’s my dream since I was young, I always want to go there, I like the culture, the American mentally, the freedom, it’s a huge country from come state to the other come it’s not the same, New York with, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Boston, Washington DC. They are the most famous town in the world.
And also the USA is come of very cosmopolitan country in the world we can find people from different background, religions.

My dream is to go there because I am a very opened mind person I do love so much the contact to hand situations, to work as a team and communicated with people. I think the American way of the American life can suit me.
I hope that my letter will take all your intention, I hope to talk to your soon and It’s will be a please to meet your one day.
Can you please give me my chance I would like to success.
Think you for now
Best regards


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais correct (erreurs mais compréhensible).

Points positifs
- Elle aborde un peu tous les domaines.

Points à améliorer
- "a single"?? Veut-elle dire qu'elle est célibataire? pas très utile de le préciser Wink
- Attention à ne pas utiliser de traducteur! Certaines formulations deviennent limite compréhensibles à cause de cela! (ex : support me in my decision to life me years as an Au pair... ???)
- Répétition : elle dit qu'elle a choisi le programme au pair parce qu'elle aime les enfants, etc. à deux reprises dans la lettre.
- A côté de cela, elle ne détaille pas beaucoup ses expériences! Le paragraphe est très très court!
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
Sand
¤ au pair au Canada ¤


Féminin Nombre de messages : 72
Age : 31
Activité actuelle : Au Pair
Localisation : Canada
Date d'inscription : 23/07/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Mer 04 Mar 2009, 10:38 pm

Bon ben it's mon tour^^

Dear host family,

Nice to write you!

I’m Sandrine, 23, and I come from France, from Picardy region just above Paris (only 55kms). I live there with my parents, my brother and my sister. My parents are both retired. They worked for RATP (the company of subways in Paris and all around). My brother, 20, is applying to work in a Paris airport. My sister, 18, works in an Italian restaurant: she makes starters and desserts. About me, I have finished my university studies (about languages and world of companies) in June 2008. At the present time, I’m an employee as a training assistant in a big French company. For sure, my job is great, however it’s not what I want for the moment. My main motivation is being an Au pair girl in the United States.

I’m already hearing your question : but why ? I like this principle to be like a stake for children, without being directly a member of their family. Teaching them lots of things, explaining them Life and supporting them by their parents’ side in all their plans, backing up and showing them people are there for them. I like to see the smile of a three-year-old little girl, who is discovering the colors and the letters in her ABC. I like to hear the sigh of a seven-year-old little boy, who has the impression that his math homework is the worst thing on the earth! I like to talk to a teenager, who seems to be lost in front of his study option choices and all his youth problems. You would have understood it: in my view, to be an Au pair girl is being here in the most important moments of a child’s life, of a teenager’s life. That is to give them my culture and my way of seeing everything, without divert them from their culture et THEIR way of seeing life.

I have begun baby-sitting at the age of 12. Since then, I’ve never stopped to want to take care of everyone. When I was a child, I played at the teacher with my brother and my sister. I was proud to be able to teach them some things!

From 1997 to 2002, I took care of Alexis, from the age of 3 to 8 and his sister Marie-Sarah, from the age of 4 months to 2. I was with them all the week-ends from Saturday in the evening until Sunday at 12 O’clock. Bath, diaper, meals, story before sleeping…the funniest was playing with the children Sunday in the morning without doing too much noise no to wake up their parents!

During the summer 2003, I took care of a two-year-old little girl three times a week when her parents were at work. I had to prepare her lunch, to make her have a nap. When she was awake, she had a snack and I played with her until her mum came back from the office. We drew together and she adored educational games. This year, I also sometimes took care of children (between 2 and 6 years old) in the evening when their parents went out. I played with the children before going to bed. And it was essential to read a story to have a good sleep. We cannot sleep well without a beautiful story!

During the school year 2004-2005, I took care of a little girl, Anna. She was 3. I was with her every Thursday. I picked up her at school and we walked back at home. But with Anna, the way never seemed long coz she always had something to tell me. I prepared our meals and she went to have a nap. Afterwards we played several hours. Drawings, inventing stories, going out, dancing any old how. She adored brushing my hair but I must admit that she didn’t have a gift for that coz she was a little bit abrupt with the brush. It was not her vocation! This year, I also took care of a 5-month-old boy, William. His parents were from Cyprus. It was great to talk to this little boy in English and to see his smile when I sung in front of me (maybe he made fun of me!)

In 2006, I’ve been Au pair girl in Germany for 2 months. I took care of Isabelle, a four-year-old girl. I had breakfast with her, she had a shower, I dressed her up, I took her to the kindergarten. At 12, we lunched together. After the nap, we often went to the park to play with her neighbor. Isabelle adored playing with her Barbies. Have you ever tried to put about 8 Barbies in a Barbie car? Believe me when I say, Isabelle was really perfect for that! With her, I reviewed all my classical tales, but this time in German version! It was a great experience to take care of her!

Since september 2008, I take care of a two-year-and a half-old girl. Her name is Clémence and it’s a real pleasure to be with her. She adores learning. I take care of her about two week-ends a month when her parents go to the bowling to train themselves. It is sometimes only for Saturday in the evening, sometimes it is until Sunday in the afternoon. It’s a true happiness to see a so energetic girl! My pride about her: to teach her her first word in a foreign language, Tschüss. I can admit at first her pronunciation was not exactly the best! I also take care of Rafaël, a little boy who has just been 2 years. I go and take care of him when his parents go out, so unfortunately I see him more sleeping than playing. He’s really cute. His parents speak both Spanish and they try to teach him this language. I’m always staggered when I see him to understand French and Spanish. I can’t wait for to be with him during an afternoon. Maybe he will teach me Spanish!

Otherwise, I give lots of lessons, especially in English, German and French. During the school year 2006, I gave about 8 hours of lessons a week. It was pupils between the age of 8 and 17. Since 2006, I’ve a regular pupil, Quentin who is 14. I give him two hours of lessons in English and German a week. I give also one hour in German to Aude, who is also 14. I’ve also another “ less young pupil”. She’s 26 and she’s Vietnamese. I give her about 8 hours of lessons a week. I teach her French and that’s a great experience coz she also teaches me lots of things about her country and her language.

When I’m neither at work, neither at babysitting and neither giving lessons, I do badminton. I try to do it twice a week. I also belong to an association in my city (to organize cultural parties, recruiting day for companies, to participate to the political life in our city). I adore having active weeks, I hate boredom. I’m in fond of going to cinema, visiting and discovering museums and new places, reading interesting books and knowing new people every day. I’ve a real optimistic temperament. I always see the good side of life. And to remember everything, when I am in my host family, I’d like to make a big album with the children or teenager of our common life (pics, visit tickets, cinema tickets, drawings and description of our activities…It will be a real beautiful souvenir for every one!)

If the experience is great for all of us, I’d like to take care of your children or teenagers during two years!

Don’t hesitate to ask me every questions !

See you soon!

Best regards !

Sand


édit : Très bonne lettre, très agréable à lire, mais un peu longue. Anglais très correct

Points positifs
- Elle décrit des exemples concrets de comportements d'enfants!
- Ses expériences sont décrites avec beaucoup d'humour et de réalité : activités, anecdotes...
- Lettre très complète!

Points à améliorer
- La lettre est un peu trop longue, des petites choses sont à supprimer :
* "nice to write to you"
* ne pas détailler le job de sa soeur.
* réduire ses phrases du style "mais ce n'est pas ce que je veux faire pour le moment. Mon principal objectif est de devenir au pair" = "mais ce que je veux faire pour le moment est de devenir au pair".
* ne pas autant rentrer dans les détails de ses activités (lunch, sieste...). Pour le job d'au pair, dire qu'elle passait toute la journée avec est suffisant, ne pas tout détailler!
* ne pas préciser pourquoi elle s'occupe des enfants (quand les parents vont au bowling....)
* les détails sur les horaires : parfois le samedi, parfois..
* le détail sur la prononciation de la petite fille.
--> Sa lettre est vraiment chouette et son expérience très riche donc difficile d'enlever des choses. En enlevant ces détails, on diminue la lettre mais pas encore suffisamment.
- Convertir les km en miles.
- Donner les prénoms des frères et soeurs au moins.
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
Vinichou
:: STS ::
:: STS ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 161
Age : 29
Activité actuelle : Ex étudiante en stylisme-modélisme, aupair
Dates de mon séjour : Départ 6 avril 2009
Ville, ETAT : Malibu, CALIFORNIA
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 03/02/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Mer 04 Mar 2009, 11:46 pm

Je poste ma lettre car elle a été corrigée par pas mal de personne autour de moi et on m'a dit qu'elle était bien (notamment la responsable de mon agence). Bien sûr elle est loin d'être parfaite mais ça peut toujours aider certaines personnes qui ont du mal à se lancer. Moi même je me suis à la base inspirée de certaines lettres pour trouver le bon rythme.

Dear Host Family,

I could be your future aupair so I introduce myself. I hope I will give you the desire to welcome me in your family!


My name is Virginie, I am a 21 years old french girl. I live in Colombes with my parents and my two brothers in a charming small house. Colombes is very close to Paris (I love this city, I spend practically all my time in the capital).

Vincent my big brother is 23 years old and he is still studying in banking. He is into computers. Martin my little brother is 17 years old, he likes manga, sciences, computers too. Martin would like to become scientific researcher. My father, Henri, is an entrepreneur and sells Pizza. My mother, Valérie, is a housewife, she likes photography.

We have a very good relationship but we are also independent. I have thought being an aupair for 2 years. All my family encourages me in this adventure. They think it would be a very good experience for my future.

There is an other person in the family, Geoffrey my fiancé. We know each other for 5 years. Geoffrey is my confidant and my best friend. Even if the distance will be important, we are very enthousiastic and confident about this project. We have to realise our dreams and the technology permits us to be in touch easily now.

I passed the literary baccalaureat in 2005 and these three last years I studied stylism. I am fond of fashion designing. After this year I would like to study journalism and work for a fashion magazine. For the moment I seek to enrich myself through new experiences, and exploring new cultures. To be part of an American family would be a great and rewarding way of enriching myself. I really love to spend time with children and play wih them so the aupair's program seems very appropriate to me.

I am experienced with children. Taking care of them is not a job for me, it is a pleasure. I feel good and comfortable when they are around because they are spontaneous, creative and sensitive.

I was the leader during one year of a group of seven children (13/14 years old) in a Christian chaplaincy. We talked about the religion but also about subjects that interest them like friendship, music, family, school... This time was very interesting and enriching. I did my best to understand them and to respond to their answers.

During two years I gave private lessons to two young girls, Gladys and Sarah (11 and 12 years old) in school difficulty. I helped them with their homework but I was also their confidant. We studied especially French, English, Mathematics. I am always in touch with them and I am glad to know that now they stand on their own two feet.

This summer I have been aupair in London (United Kingdom) for two months. It was wonderful, I met Louka, a very nice eight years old boy. I loved to take care of him and play with him. We did many things together. When the weather was nice we liked to do bicycle and when it wasn't we prefered to do family games like Guess who?. We also liked to go to museums, our favorite was the Science museum because there are a lot of things to test and touch. We liked to play like pirates or spies. We had a lot of imagination, we were never bored. We made races of cars and spaceships. We appreciated to do a bowling session with the Wii or watch a movie for children. I was in charge of preparing his meals, his bath, to bring and collect him at school, to do the homework with him (It was a good review for my times tables!), to put him to bed (Where we often read a book of Mr Men and Little Miss), to help him to clean his bedroom, to wash his clothes and iron them, and the most important to have a lot of fun with him!!!

I am currently the nanny of a little girl, Emma who is 3 years old. Every evenings I collect her from school. She is a very cute little girl. She has got the dress and the hair like a princess as she said. After school we take a snack at home and we play together. We like to draw, paint, model clay. We made pretty drawings for Christmas and we made an Advent calendar together. She has a lot of puzzle and we often do a Dora the explorer's puzzle because she loves this character. We play with her dolls Fanny and Chouchou. They are often sleeping so Emma asks me to whisper to not awake them. Then we take the bath. During the bath we sing a lot and I read her a book of Little brown bear. On Wednesdays I take care of her all the day. I supervise the nap and then we often go to the library or the park.

In all these meetings I have had a very good relationship with the children (I consider them as my little brothers and sisters) but with the parents too. And it was very pleasant for them and for me.

About myself, I am a very optimistic, fun and easy-going person. I am responsible, mature and patient. I think I am creative person with a lot of imagination.

I like to sing (during 5 years I was in a choir), listening music (I am eclectic, I like classical music, punk, rock...), read books, sew and making disguises, laugh with my friends and my family. I like to go to the movies, theater and go in a restaurant with my friends. I like the contemporary art, the new technologies. I like to go in the theme parks. I like to do bicycle or rollerblade and fitness training.

I don't have yet my driving licence but I would be very happy to learn it in the USA if you think it is possible. I am really motivated!!

I have had a training for first aid/lifesaving just one month ago. During this training we learnt especially about the moves to have with children.

Thank you for reading my application.
I hope to hear from you soon. I would be glad to get to know you and the children.

Best Regards.

Virginie


édit : Très bonne lettre, agréable à lire (un peu longue). Anglais très correct.

Points positifs
- Elle décrit bien sa famille : prénoms, âges mais aussi centres d'intérêts.
- Elle décrit bien ses expériences avec les enfants : activités, anecdotes...
- Lettre très complète!

Points à améliorer
- Lettre un peu longue, supprimer des espaces permettrait déjà de réduire un peu cette taille sans surcharger la lettre (avec un interligne de 1,5 par exemple). La lettre est agréable à lire donc difficile de supprimer certaines choses, mais des petits détails peuvent être supprimés, pour laisser place à l'essentiel.
- Penser à traduire "baccalauréat".
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http://www.alerte-a-malibu.com
deydey13
:: Calvin Thomas ::
:: Calvin Thomas ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 3
Age : 33
Activité actuelle : étudiante en relation publique et événementiel
Dates de mon séjour : je suis arriver dans ma famille le 24 juillet 2009
Ville, ETAT : Darien, Connecticut
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 28/02/2009

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Ven 27 Mar 2009, 11:48 am

Salut,

Voici ma ptite lettre, contrairement à vous elle est plus courte, je suis pas très douée pour les longs discourts, alors dite moi si j'ai rien oublié.... Wink


Dear host family,

My name is Julie, I am 25 years old and I am from the south-east of France (Aix en Provence). I study public relations and entertainment.
My parents are retired and live in Essaouira in Morocco for 2 year.
I have a 20 years old half sister. She lives in Agen in the south west. She lives with her boyfriend and her daughter: Charlie who has 2 months.

I like art, movies, museum, music, history, meeting new people, shopping, reading and traveling. For my studies I am currently training for a communication agency that organizes openings for artists. It's very interesting.
After my studies I would like to be a project manager in a communication agency.

I have a cat who is named Diesel 3 years old but we also call him Didi. He is very beautiful, but because he knows he is very capricious, but everyone loves him. This is my parents who will take care of him in Morocco during my stay au pair.

I want to be an au pair because it will be an opportunity for me to improve my English, to work with children and to learn a new culture.
Children are very important to me and I am enjoying taking care of them. I like playing with them, drawing, playing outside and manual activities…

In 2003, I looked after two boys; Vincent was 5 and Romain 7 years old, children of my father’s neighbor. Their parents were divorced and their mother worked alone to take care of her two son. I went to pick them up after school, helped with homework, gave them a bath and played with them until the return of their mother.

In May 2008, I also looked after Emeric, 11 years old, while his parents were on vacation in Vietnam. I was used to wake him up in the morning, preparing his breakfast, taking him to school, picking him up, making him a snack, helping with homework, and playing with him in the evening or watching TV with him.

I have a very strong relationship with kids. I’m a patient person, serious and very responsible.
My goal with kids will be to make them feel comfortable with me. Plus, I really hope to be a part of the family and be like a big sister for kids.

I am looking for a family with lots of understanding, patient and with a strong family spirit.

Looking forward to talk to you.

Your future au pair.

Miss Julie


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais correct.

Points positifs
- Elle décrit les activités réalisées avec les enfants (repas, etc.)

Points à améliorer
- Décrire un peu plus la famille : le prénom de sa demi-soeur, la profession de ses parents, est-ce qu'elle les voit souvent?
- Regrouper le passage sur les études avec le début quand elle en parle.
- Développer ses loisirs et surtout parler de sa personnalité!
- Regroupe le passage avec le chat avec le passage sur la famille.
- Les expériences avec les enfants pourraient être davantage développées par des anecdotes : peu d'expérience donc il faut les mettre en valeur! Elle parle d'activités très classique : "je joue avec eux, regarde la TV..". Sa lettre n'est donc pas mise en valeur à côté de lettres de filles qui vont raconter des anecdotes sympas avec les enfants : activités manuelles, sorties, sport, etc.
- Elle ne parle pas du tout de son attrait pour les USA.
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alicebzh
:: Calvin Thomas ::
:: Calvin Thomas ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 293
Age : 28
Activité actuelle : Chargée de communication Cinéma
Dates de mon séjour : arrivée le 10 Août 2009
Ville, ETAT : Orange County / Californie
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 08/03/2009

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Ven 03 Avr 2009, 1:08 am

Bonjour à tous!!!!
J'ai besoin de votre aide, voilà ça fait quelques temps que je bosse sur ma lettre et elle est bcp trop longue! je ne sais pls quoi couper!!!! vous en pensez quoi?qu'est ce qui n'est pas indispensable?

Dear host family,

Time is coming for me to write a letter in which you can really see what kind of person I am and what my motivations are for becoming an aupair. And how exciting it is!!

My name is Alice, I’m 21 years old and I live in Rennes (Western France), in Brittany, a wonderful region nearby the Atlantic Ocean. I live alone in a flat for my studies but my parents live in a little city called Vitré, forty minutes far from Rennes. My parents live together and I have one sister and two brothers, who don’t live at home anymore either. I’m the youngest: my sister Cécile is 26 and she is married, my brother David is 25, lives near Paris and works in an airport, and Antoine is 24, lives now in Australia and will be back before the summer. All my family supports me a lot in this project for an au- pair- year in the USA because they know that I love taking care of children and travelling. And my siblings have at least spent a year abroad (England, Sudan, Ireland, Spain, Australia). My parents have children who are restless! But we are a close family and family is one of the most important values I cherish in my life. This year I have prepared the examination to become a primary school teacher but I failed. I had worked a lot so I don’t have any regrets but I haven’t the motivation to prepare it next year so I need a break in order to think about my future (maybe I want to become a journalist or a translator of children books). Before that I got a History of Arts degree.
What can I say about me...? I am active and I have a passion for horse ridding, it’s very important to me, I started fifteen years ago and I took part in events when I was in high school. But this year I stopped because I had no time. I also like reading, going to the movies (I like so Walt Disney movies, I know…I stay a big kid…), listening to music, shopping, and going to museums (and to eat chocolate…but it isn’t a hobby no?). As for sports I enjoy swimming and skiing. I love travelling and I am used to live away from home, which is, I think, a great advantage to become an aupair: last summer I have been to India and Nepal for five weeks with two friends and it was a fantastic experience, with my family we are visit Italy, Spain, Portugal, Morocco and Jordan. Finally, April to Aug.03, I was living in Germany in a host family for a scholar exchange. So, I know what it is to leave my family and my friends, I know that sometimes we can be homesick but with some efforts to adapt we can surpass this and have an unforgettable stay. At the end, I was speaking German without needing to think, I hope to be able to do the same in English!
I am dynamic, open-minded, and independent. I love to have fun but I also know how to take on responsibilities. I really am an optimistic person. I always see the good side of life. I am jovial and talkative but don’t worry if the first days I am a little timid. I enjoy talking politics, art, current events and almost everything else. I like of course seeing my friends, but I am not what we can call a party girl. I'd rather have a fun and calm dinner with my friends and spend all night talking and laughing than go in nightclubs.

But enough about me and let's talk about the reasons I want to become an aupair in USA.
Going to the USA is an old dream for me. It’s difficult to explain why I am so attracted by this country. I like the country, the culture, the American mentality, the freedom that's why I like the American way of life. It’s a very cosmopolitan country and I hope to meet people of the whole world.
But the most important for me is your family and your children. If I want to join you it’s also because I want an unforgettable experience in a new country and to discover a new culture inside a family. And above all I love being with children, they are very important in my life, so I think it’s awesome to see them growing for a year, to contribute to their evolution. And of course, I want to improve my English because I think it’s very important in the world today and it helps for travelling across the world. To prepare my year in the USA, I will take some English lessons in May and June, and I watch DVDs in English a lot (all the DVDs of Alias).

Concerning my children care experience, I have begun the baby-sitting at the age of 14. Children have a very important place in my life and for me taking care of them are not, it is a pleasure!
From 2003 to 2005, I took care of Florian (from the age of 2 to 4) and Sarah (from 4 to 6) for a month while the parents were not there. We read stories before bedtime, playing family games or to sing calm songs and after I waited for the parents to come back.
Since 2005, I have got a French certificate called the BAFA which means that I am a camp counselor certified. I have worked in Summer Camps for five years. In 2005 I was in charge of the 9-11 years old group, in 2006 the 3-5 years old, and since 2007 the 4-7 years old group. I love this work because we have many children and it is a lot of fun. We organize many fun games and we sing many happy songs. For one month their parents are not here so we are important for them, and we must be very responsible. I will work in my summer camp in July 2009.
Since September 2005, I know the family C. They have 4 children, when I began the oldest Guillaume was 9, Anne-Louise was 7, Laurent was 6 and Cécile my little treasure was 3. It’s so fabulous to have been able to see them growing for 4 years and especially the two youngest. I was there when Laurent and Cécile have learnt to read and write, when Cécile took her first shower alone, when she stops the baby bottle for a real dinner and when she learns to dress herself (at the begin she thinks that trousers to slip on the head, so funny!)… I love these children but this year they are older so they only need a babysitter on Mondays.
So since September 2008, on the other days, I work with the family D. They have 3 children: Juliette is 12, Gaspard is 9 and the baby boy was a year and a half in September. It’s funny with the baby, he’s always laughing (maybe he makes fun about me when I’m singing…)! When I began he didn't speak, now he is a chatterbox! When I am with him I like to sing, to read stories, to play outdoor in the park.
In the two families it’s almost the same job. I picked them up at school and we walked back home (when it’s raining, we drive back). They have a snack and after I help with the homeworks (since 4 years… It’s a good review for my tables). When it’s done we play, draw, read, take the bath, change diapers, prepare and have dinner… With Ulysse, I like to sing a frog song in the bath and he’s always laughing! I need imagination because the children don’t want to do the same activities every day! So I adapt myself with current events. We prepare Halloween, Christmas, Easter, mummy and daddy's day, birthdays….
During the Easter holidays in April 2008 and winter Holidays in February 2009, I take care so cute twins (a boy and a girl) for a week at each time. I care them the entire journey (from 8am to 7 pm) because their alone mother must to work. The first time they are 6 months and the second time 15 months. It’s was a wonderful experience!
I also have experiences with babies: a good friend of mine had a baby girl in 2005 and I have a cousin born in April. I see them often.

I think you have understood that children take a big place in my life. I love to see them every day. During the school holidays I don’t work and the children miss me a lot! With them I love doing many activities: fancy-dressing to create shows, doing sports and friendly competition, cooking. Girls generally prefer manuals activities but I prefer to go to the swimming pool, to the museum, to the park, to the cinema… The funniest for me is playing with the children on Sunday mornings without doing too much noise not to wake up their parents! To be with children is so fabulous; in fact I love their innocence, when they say so beautiful kids' words. For example, when Cécile was 4, she says “my carrots today are water see!” because in French the word for “water sea” and “bitter” are very close! It’s so cute! And Laurent, her brother, told me “during the day, the stars are going to school for to learn to shine!” I love to hear a kid singing or to have a baby in my arms… So, for to sum up I love children!
So I think that it’s necessary to be responsible and patient to take care of children. With your children I will not be a friend, neither a parent nor a teacher, I will be like a big sister.


I really wish to become part of your family. I don’t want to be just a foreigner living in your house or to have a boss/employee relationship. I leave my French family; I hope to find my American family (I really don’t want a rematch after 2 months).
So I think it’s necessary to talk all together, about the American way of life, the children, and life in general. But at the beginning, I will need to know what you want and to be able to tell you about my problems. I wish that when you choose me you will trust me when I am with your children. If I have any problem with them I want you to support me. I really want to spend an unforgettable year with you and I hope that it will be the same for you.
And in order to remember everything of my life in my host family, I’d like to make a big album with the children of our common life (pics, visit tickets, cinema tickets, drawings and description of our activities…). I wish it to be a really beautiful souvenir for everyone.

I have had help for this letter because I wanted you to understand very well who I am, my motivations and my child care experiences. My English level is average but I work a lot. Every day I train my English, I learn grammar, vocabulary and I watch DVDs. But my problem it’s that my accent is a catastrophe, but I come because I want to improve my English no….?

I hope to hear and see you soon, and spend a wonderful year with your family. I will love your children as if they were my brothers and sisters.

Best regards,


Merci à ceux qui prendront le temps de lire mon roman et qui m'aideront à y faire des coupes franches!
Biz

édit : Très bonne lettre, agréable à lire mais beaucoup trop longue. Bon anglais.

Points positifs
- L'ensemble de la lettre est très bien détaillé, complète et très bien raconté : la famille, elle-même, les expériences avec les enfants.
- La lettre est bien organisée.

Points à améliorer
- Lettre beaucoup trop longue. Ce qui pourrait être supprimé :
* des petits détails comme le fait que l'équitation est important pour elle (15 ans d'équitation, c'est déjà sous-entendu Laughing ), ou qu'elle a arrêté cette année par manque de temps.
* ce passage "So, I know what it is to leave my family and my friends, I know that sometimes we can be homesick but with some efforts to adapt we can surpass this and have an unforgettable stay. At the end, I was speaking German without needing to think, I hope to be able to do the same in English!" peut être supprimé. Elle a déjà dit qu'elle savait ce que c'était que vivre loin de chez elle, c'est suffisant. Il faut aller à l'essentiel.
* "I always see the good side of life" : c'est effectivement la définition d'une personne optimiste Wink
* des petites phrases telle que "It’s difficult to explain why I am so attracted by this country."
* les raisons pour lesquelles elle veut améliorer son anglais.
* les DVD d'Alias.
* répétition : les enfants sont très importants pour moi, cela revient souvent. Supprimer certains passages! Ca revient très souvent : "I love to see them every day. During the school holidays I don’t work and the children miss me a lot!". La description des expériences parle d'elle-même, inutile de le dire et redire Wink
* "while the parents were not there", "because their alone mother must to work" : en général le baby-sitting, c'est quand les parents ne sont pas là, éviter d'ajouter ce genre de détails.
* Si les colos sont détaillées dans le dossier, inutile de les redonner ici, juste dire qu'il y'en a eu plusieurs. De même pour certaines expériences, telles ou telles vacances, c'est un peu long à dire, si c'est dit dans le dossier, inutile de repréciser.
* plutôt que de dire à chaque fois "untel was 3"... écrire untel (3), machin (5), etc.
* ce passage : "I love these children but this year they are older so they only need a babysitter on Mondays."
* quand elle parle d'intégrer une famille, beaucoup de redondances! Inutile d'en dire autant, dire que l'on souhaite être intégré à une famille, partager des moments avec eux est suffisant! Pas besoin d'en écrire 5 lignes!
* Pour tout ce qui est éducation, il faut voir cela une fois le contact fait avec la famille, pas dans la lettre!
* ce passage : "I have had help for this letter because I wanted you to understand very well who I am, my motivations and my child care experiences." est une répétition de ce qui a déjà été dit!! Attention aux redondances dans la lettre!!! Allez à l'essentiel!!
* "But my problem it’s that my accent is a catastrophe, but I come because I want to improve my English no….?" : INUTILE!!!!
--> Il y a pas mal de choses à supprimer! La lettre reste toujours longue (elle était vraiment très très longue à l'origine!). Il faut donc sélectionner des anecdotes à supprimer, celles-ci sont très chouettes et la lettre est très agréable, mais il faut penser aux familles qui n'auront pas que la votre à lire et pas que les lettres à regarder! Wink Laissez-en aussi pour les appels!
- Eviter de dire ce genre de choses : "(I really don’t want a rematch after 2 months)", personne n'en a envie, ni la famille, ni vous, mais le dire dans la lettre ne va pas changer grand chose, se décrire le mieux possible pourra peut-être éviter ce genre de choses.
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http://alice-madeincalifornia.over-blog.com/
Leene
:: Calvin Thomas ::
:: Calvin Thomas ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 113
Age : 29
Activité actuelle : Au Pair
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 29/01/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Ven 03 Avr 2009, 1:17 pm

Voilà ma lettre! J'espere avoir mis tout ce qu'il fallait mettre!

Dear host family

Hi! I’m Mylène, I’m currently 21 years old but I will turn 22 in June. I live in Clermont-Ferrand which is in the middle of France, in Auvergne. I live with my parents and my little sister, Cloe, who is 16 (17 in August). My sister studies fashion and wants to be a fashion designer, my mother Carole, is 42 and she does the cleaning in the airport, my father Marc is 46 and he is a ticket inspector for the French train company, the SNCF. I also have one dog, Diabolo and a guinea pig, Caramel. I’ve always loved animals and when I was younger I wanted to be a vet. I’m very close to my family and to my friends. I often see my best friend and we’ve known each other for more than 10 years now.

I had my Baccalaureat (French equivalent for the SAT or A-Level). I study English at university in Clermont-Ferrand, before I studied art for one year. I want to become a French teacher in UK or USA or to work for an international company. By the way I do not smoke and I have my driver’s licence for 2 years now but I did the « conduite accompagnée » so I was allowed to drive with my parents so I drive for 5 years.

Well, let’s talk a little about me: at first I’m shy but when you know me better I’m very funny and talkative! I talk a lot about everything! I’m open-minded, patient, reliable, honest, hardworking and trustworthy. I’m also very creative. I love a lot of things such as music, cinema, travels, video games, animals, museum, art, drawing (even if I’m not really good at it), photos and American history and in general I’m very curious and love to learn more about other cultures.

I want to be an Au Pair in the USA because it is the best way to improve my English while doing something that I like, that is to say: being with children. I love spending my time with them and playing with them! And so why in the USA? Well because I was an Au Pair last summer in England and I really love the experience and as I do American history and literature I’m very interesting in learning more about this country. Also I think this is the better way to do it because living with a family is a wonderful thing, we learn about each other and this is the part that I like, the fact that the Au Pair program is an exchange! To me it is way better than studying one year abroad!

About my experience with children, I’ve begun looking after children at the age of 13 with Pierre, my neighbour’s son. He was 9 and I looked after him during the holidays, helping him with his homework. After Pierre (who moved away) I looked after Justine (and I still do it), as my mother was her nanny, her parents take me as her baby-sitter since the beginning. So I’ve looked after her for 8 years (she is 8 now) and for 2 to 3 times a week. I was 14 at that time. At the same time, I looked after Solene who was a baby when I was 15, mostly during the holidays. And so last summer I was an Au Pair in England, I looked after Emily who was 5 and Freya who was 1,5. While I was in England I also did some baby-sitting for the friend of my host mother, so I spend times with Jemima (1 year old) Maddie, her sister who was 6 and the last week I moved to another host family where I looked after Owen who was 11, Cameron who was 9, Jack who was 7 and Conal who was 3. And now I look after Zohra who is 5 and her little sister Ilda who is 1,5.
I do a lot with children, well basically everything they want to do with me as long as it is safe! So I can play with dolls and also building train tracks! I love to draw with them and when I have time I cook with children, we bake cakes and after it is a real pleasure to eat them!! When the weather is good I like to go to parks and with older children to go to museum and library. It is a real pleasure to see Ilda doing thing on her own in the park but she always wants to be with me so we go on the swing together! It is so funny! Same for Zohra, she is very smart so we can play games together! About what I do with them, I give them the bath, I can feed them and all the duties an Au Pair is supposed to do.

I hope to hear from you soon!


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais très correct.

Points positifs
- Bonne présentation de sa famille.
- Lettre bien organisée.

Points à améliorer
- Ne pas écrire "conduite accompagnée", expliquer à quoi ça correspond uniquement.
- Les expériences de baby-sitting sont déjà détaillées dans le dossier, ici il faut rendre ces expériences vivantes, donc plutôt que de les lister, il faut raconter ce que l'on a fait, ajouter une anecdote...
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http://leene-littlebigadventures.blogspot.com/
Pinkerly
:: Au pair care ::
:: Au pair care ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 44
Age : 27
Activité actuelle : Actuelle Au Pair
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 02/03/2009

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Ven 03 Avr 2009, 8:07 pm

Coucou ! à mon tour de vous postez ma host family letter ! dites moi ce que vous en pensez ! je sais qu'il y a des fautes de grammaire et de syntaxe mais j'ai fait ce que j'ai pu ! (elle est un peu longue mais tous y est important pr moi! Wink) Merci

Dear Host Family,

Hello! I would like to thank you for looking at my profile. Here some lines to learn about me...!

I am a young French girl of 20 years old (December 20th, 1988) and my name is Laura. My parents are French and divorced, my mother is origin Italian and my father is Polish. I live near of a wonderful city called Paris in France with my mother Antoinette, my younger sister Claudia and our black cat Miquette! I have two sisters of 35 and 18 years old and one brother of 34. My mother and my big sister Isabelle work together as assistants, and my younger sister is student. I am very close to my family and we have good relations. My parents instilled to me some primary values such as respect, tolerance, generosity, honesty and love too.

I am student in cooperative education program of secretariat almost two years and I taken my exam at the end of the year. So one week on two, I am working in an international engineering company. I’ve always thought about going abroad as an au pair, and my employer and colleagues helped me take the big step and supported me. Today I thank them because I know it really is what I want to do! All my family and friends encourage me and support me in my action, particularly my mother is very happy because she knows how much it is important for me and my future.

I am a young girl dynamic, optimistic, funny, open-minded, trustworthy, kind, sociable, curious, mature, and who likes to laugh above all things even if I’m a bit shy at first! I have made gymnastic and horse-riding during 2 years, as well as a little basketball. And now I shall like to learn salsa.
I like very much read, dance, movies, listen to music (I am eclectic: Steevie Wonder, Lauryn Hill, Bob Marley, Celine Dion, Queen...), soap opera (Dr House and Sex & the city), art (Salvador Dali), new technologies (particularly cell-phone!), animals, skiing, go to the beach (be sunbathed!), discover of new things, meet new people, I am very interested so much in other cultures (specially Japan) and travels.
My hobbies are spending time with my friends, my family, children, go to Paris, cinema, swimming-pool, go for walks, walking in motorcycle, go on bowling, billiard, do rollerblading, surf on internet, as a lot of girl, I like to go to the shopping! I like being at the school and in my company because I have learned a lot and it allowed me to spread me more. I have to make occasionally a few sports and I try to eat healthily. In my home, I like to watch TV, surf on internet, reading books (Amelie Nothomb), play with my cat, I listen to music, sometimes to do the clown and sing!

About my childcare experience, I have my First-Aid diploma. I love children because they are so spontaneous, funny, true and natural.
I've looked after my nephew Enzo some hours on evening per week and some week-end since his birth two years ago. He has personality but is very adaptable. He is joyful, very sociable and likes eating! He also likes dancing and watch TV. I prepared his bottles and simple little dishes for lunch and diner in the sequel. Making him having his bath, change diapers, put him in your bed, dressed him, take him to nap, playing with him (puzzles, drawing, reading him some stories, to do plane...) and to give him a lot of tenderness. When he was a small baby, he played in your timber yard with stuffed toy and throw pillows. I supervised him when I change his nappies; when he crawled on all fours; put him in your bed and nap…We were obliged to put corners of table and furniture to protect him. I remember when I would rock him in my arms until he fell asleep, I really liked that! I saw his first steps and first words!

I like spending time with the children I’ve looked after since 2007: Oceane (8 years old), Antoine (4 years old) and Laurena (7 years old) who are my two principal references, and my younger cousins Alicia (14 years old), Antoine (11 years old) and Marianne (10 years old) during some holidays. I prepared their breakfast on morning and some simple meals for lunch and diner as pastas, rice, some greens, mashed potatoes, home fries, salad, fish, and steak as well as some traditional French dishes.
I help them for their schoolwork, we watched TV (Cartoon and Walt Disney), and they have tried teaching me the Tecktonik dance! I still can't manage! We have played at Wii game and dolls together. We cooked any sorts of cakes, I read them some stories, we went for walks in the private housing estate for they have ridden a bike, go rollerblading...We sang some songs, made puzzles, played ball and many other activities. I’m a kind of big sister, loving, and friendly. I like laughing and enjoying with children but also to impose limits when it’s necessary. I have very good memories and they do too!! Parents really trust me what is important for me.

With children of my host family, we could go to walk in the area and the neighborhood, ride a bike and rollerblading, play at ball, I could to go to town with children, to go shopping with them, to bring in their weekly activities, ice skating, eat outside, or go horse riding, walk on parks, go to cinema, museums, swimming-pool…
We could do coloring books, make of modeling clay, puzzles, play cards, dance, sing, schoolwork, bake cakes, sports...and if you have a garden, some other things again. I would love to teach those songs and some words, and learn some American songs too!

I can’t really say that I have worked with children because it was more pleasure that a work, being the older sister delights me because I have always wanted younger brother’s and sister’s. Yes, this brings so much to me, spending time with them is so rewarding. I love taking care of them. I probably will be a mother myself one day, and I think this is a good start!

My best dream is to go to USA and another reason I am excited to come to the US because it will improve my English to speak with you. America has always attracted me because of the heritage, the culture, the tradition....Discovering all your culture and your way of life. I love travelling even if I don’t have a lot of travel! But I visited Tunisia, Spain (I have basic knowledge in Spanish) and the north of Italy. I never go in America and yet I have my uncle and cousins who live in Venezuela! I love Meeting people and I am curious of the world around me. I am really motivated and very impatient!

When I come back to France, I hope I will speak English fluently and I intend to resume my studies in the field of tourism or in the field of foreign languages, to be able to discover other horizons!

I hope I’ll be of much help to you on a daily basis, and can't wait to spend some time with you and take good care of your children. If you wish, I will help you to discover my country!

I apologise for the many mistakes of spelling and grammar, I thank you for your attention, I hope to meet you and your children and begin a nice experience!

I hope to hear from you soon,

Yours sincerely,

Laura


édit : Bonne lettre (un peu longue). Anglais correct.

Points positifs
- Elle décrit bien ses expériences avec les enfants : activités, anecdotes...

Points à améliorer
- La lettre est un peu trop longue, et même si tout vous paraît essentiel, pensez aux familles qui vont éplucher plusieurs dossiers : lettres, dossiers, collages... Allez à l'essentiel et laissez leur l'opportunité de vous poser d'autres questions! Ce qui pourrait être supprimé ici :
* regrouper certaines infos, ne pas aller à la ligne.
* date de naissance (elle figure dans le dossier!)
* Paris est en France, oui ça c'est bien une des choses que les Américains savent Wink "I live near Paris" est suffisant.
* des petites phrases peuvent être supprimées comme "Today I thank them because I know it really is what I want to do!" ou " because she knows how much it is important for me and my future."
* beaucoup de répétitions dans les loisirs : paragraphe à réorganiser et à diminuer!
* la liste de ce qu'elle faisait à manger..
* répétitions dans ce qu'elle faisait avec les enfants aussi : bien relire!!
--> Il y a des choses à supprimer, beaucoup de répétitions!
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Nelly
:: STS ::
:: STS ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 239
Age : 25
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 24/04/2008

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Mer 08 Avr 2009, 6:54 pm

Hey ! Bon comme les autres, je post ma lettre. Bien sûr, ca doit être criblé de fautes ( c'est d'ailleurs ca qui m'embête le plus Embarassed ). J'aimerais aussi savoir si vous pensez que c'est trop long/court ou s'il manque des choses... Merci d'avance ^^

Dear host family,

My name is Nelly and I’m 18 years old (my birthday is on March 22nd). I live in France, in a very small village near St-Etienne called Genilac. I live with my parents and my brother. My father, Georges, is a joiner and my mother, Marie-Odile, is an accountant and she also helps my father to make wooden objects. My brother, Baptiste, is 14 years old. I also have a sister who doesn’t live at home anymore. Her name is Charlotte, she’s 21 years old and she’s a cook. My family and I are very close and they really support me in my decision to be an au pair in the United States. They think this experience is going to be good for me.

I’m in high school but I will have my high school degree specialised in literature and philosophy in June. After this year in the U.S.A, I want to go to the university during three years to have a license in english and then to have a master to be a translator.


There are so many reasons why I would like to be an au pair in the United States.
First, I absolutely love children. Children are very important for me and I enjoy taking care of them. Indeed, I like playing with them, drawing, swimming, playing outside, making some manual activities,…

I have several experiences with children. The first child I took care of was a baby, Clarisse. She was eighteen months old and I looked after her for six months on Saturdays and Sundays. I was with her all the day so I was with her for meal and to put her in bed, to change her diapers, to play with her,… I also took care of Gauthier, during a few months on Wednesdays and sometimes on weekends. I did the same thing, the same activities with him that I did with Clarisse. He was one year old and I think he’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen ! Finally, last summer, I was an au pair in Ireland (at Cork) for two months. I took care of three children : Saoirse (11 years), Caoimhe (8 years) and Tomas (4 years).This experience was really fantastic ! The children were on vacation so I did many activities so that they didn’t get bored. We had so much fun ! We went swimming a lot, to the park, we made modelling clay, we loved painting, drawing, I prepared their meals,… And now, they know some french games ! We have also travelled with their parents in the north of Ireland. Caoimhe loves being a princess, Saoirse enjoy playing soccer and Tomas likes Bob the Builder and his little cars ! It was honestly the best summer I have ever had and I keep in touch with them (we send each other a mail and photos ever month).

Then, I really would like to be an au pair in the United States to improve my English and discover a new country and the U.S.A are an attractive country.

As far as I’m concerned, I think I’m optimistic, responsible and dynamic person. I’m reliable and creative. At first, I’m a little bit shy but once I know people, everything is okay ! I love dancing (I’ve practice for 14 years : rock, modern jazz,…), swimming, reading, drawing, playing piano, going to concerts, spending time on Internet. I like going out with my friends and shopping ! I enjoy listening to music and studying cinema (in my high school we study cinema and ever year, we make a film in May). I’m fond of sports (volley ball, basket ball, roller skating, ice skating,…) and I speak Spanish and Italian a little (I want to learn Gaelic (Irish) and Chinese).

I’ve already travelled since I went to England (three years ago) and Italy (one year ago) with my friends on vacation and as I said before, I went to Ireland last summer for two months. And I go to Spain nearly ever year.

To be an au pair in the United States would be a dream come true and you can be sure I will do my best to be a good au pair.
I really hope I will become a part of your family, like a big sister.

Thank you for reading my letter,

Looking forward to seeing you,

Nelly


édit : Bonne lettre. Anglais très correct.

Points positifs
- Elle décrit bien ses expériences avec les enfants.

Points à améliorer
- Situer St-Etienne.
- La description des enfants est bonne, mais pourrait être encore mieux en ajoutant une petite anecdote ou en parlant du tempréament des enfants.


Dernière édition par Nelly le Ven 10 Avr 2009, 2:20 pm, édité 1 fois
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Aurelie781
:: STS ::
:: STS ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 138
Age : 28
Activité actuelle : Vendor manager à Londres
Dates de mon séjour : Du 10 août 2009 au 21 août 2010
Ville, ETAT : Denver, COLORADO
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 04/02/2009

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Jeu 09 Avr 2009, 12:21 am

Bon allez c'est mon tour, j'ai ENFIN fini ma lettre !! Donnez-moi tous vos avis, des plus négatifs aux plus positifs, je suis preneuse de toute critique !

Bonne lecture^^

Dear Family,

As I am writing this letter, I realize that my plan to become an Au Pair in the United States is beginning to take shape, and I am very excited !

My name is Aurélie, I am a French 20-year old girl living in Velizy, a little town between Paris and Versailles. I live with my mother Chantal (50, a secretary). I really love animals, that’s why I also live with my dog Praline and my guinea-pig Caramel. My father Jean-Marc (55, he’s retired) lives in the countryside with my stepmother, about 1 hour from me, I don’t see him a lot but I am very close to him, I call him at least once a week. Then comes my sister, Murielle (33), who lives with her husband and her son, just a few miles from my mother and me so that we can see them very often and easily. Even if we don’t live anymore together, my family remains a great part of my life, as they are very important for me. They all support me in my plan to become an Au pair, thinking that it would be a fantastic experience.

I currently am a student in English Literature and Civilization and I will obtain (I hope!) my licence at the end of the term. The English language has always sounded particular to me, I know that I want to do a job implying speaking English, and I want to live abroad for one year in order to become imbued with American culture. After some research, I heard about the Au pair program and I instantly, with the agreement of my family, joined the program, because Iiving in the USA for one year as an au pair is an opportunity I can’t miss.

To perfect my English is not the only thing that made me choose the Au Pair program, the other is of course that I really love children. I have started to take care of them for about 5 years. The first children were Albéric and Inès, respectively 1 and a half and 3 and a half. I occasionally took care of them during 2 years when their parents went out at night and sometimes all the day during holidays. With them I learned how fulfilling it was to spend time with children, helping them to have their bath, to eat, to dress up, and above all playing with them and telling them stories... From that moment I realized that I was not going to stop baby-sitting before a long time.

I’ve been taking care of Lénaïc and Axelle (now 9 and 6) for 4 years. I look after these two lovely girls every Wednesday afternoon and sometimes at night. I have to bring them to the pony-club, and I really love these moments when we are the three of us in the car, singing and laughing, until we get the club, then I watch them making so much progress on their little ponies... When we go back at home, I give them the snack and while it’s time for Lénaïc to do her homework, it’s time for Axelle to play with her neighbour who often comes at home. Then we often go to the park or to take a walk in the woods when the weather is nice, or when it is not, we stay at home and play together, cook desserts, draw, paint... All kind of manual activities. I also made them love the old Walt Disney movies that I grew up with, like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, and I am really proud of that ! I have the chance of taking care of them since a long time, so that I saw them grow up and evolve, it is a fantastic experience and I really consider them as part of my family.

During this period, I also took care of a little girl named Emilie (almost 2 years old at the beginning) some nights to help the parents. She is a little girl very calm, always smiling and funny. Most of time I was here to put her to bed after the bath and dinner, and she literally couldn’t sleep if I didn’t tell a story, her favourite being about a blue rabbit looking for all his friends in a farm. So cute !

My best experience with babies comes from my nephew Lucas, who is going to be 3 years old in May. I have taken care of him since his birth, because my sister often wanted me to look after him on evenings and during holidays, and of course each time I jumped at the chance. I really loved these moments when we were just the two of us, while I was bottle-feeding him, then bathing him... Taking care of a baby is a particular experience, because you really feel important, and you attend every phase of his life, his first words and first steps, his discovery of what is around him. It is so special and rewarding ! Now that Lucas is older, I play with him at football, or we go to the park, as he has so much energy to spend ! I saw him growing up weeks after weeks, and I simply love him !

Finally, I also experienced teaching when I gave English lessons to a 13-year-old boy, Alexandre, who had some difficulties to understand this language. Last year I saw him once a week, during one hour. I tried to interest him to this subject, and I think I did it well because his marks increased a lot during the year ! In fact I just tried to put a link between his hobbies and the lessons, in order to make English more attractive for him : for example, together we translated in French songs that he really loved ; he put a lot of himself into it and as a consequence, he learnt very fast ! Sometimes he told me about his life at the school, his friends, love... Because indeed it was also my role, at that time, to listen to him and to give him some advice in the light of my personal experience. Once again it was a fulfilling experience, which made me realize that it is fulfilling to take care of any child or adolescent, no matter his age.

Now, maybe it is time for you to learn more about me ! I am a very optimistic person who thinks that life is a gift, that’s why I really want to make the most of it, and take all the opportunities to discover the world with its diversity of culture, traditions,... My family and my friends are very important for me, so I spend much time going out with them, which means going out to the cinema or to the theatre, going cycling, bowling, roller-blading, ice-skating... I can’t wait to do these same activities with your family ! All that in addition to little more calm activities like drawing, painting, cooking, doing modelling clay, playing at board game, and even why not creating our own play ! Indeed, I have done some acting for 3 years, including improvisations, and I love it, it encourages creativity and self-confidence, above all in children. About my other hobbies, I like reading, watching good films, listening to music and surfing on the Internet (when I’m alone). I am often said to be a very smiling person and always laughing. I think I am a sociable girl, open-minded, funny but responsible, and reliable. And above all, I am really motivated and impatient to spend one year in the United-States, to discover a new way of life with you and your children that I can’t wait to know ! And if you want, I will be very glad to tell you more about my culture, my traditions in my country, France !

I thank you for having read my letter, I hope that you liked it and that it made you want to know more about me. I surely want to know more about you, but until then I just want you to know that I will do my best to be a great Au pair, for you and for your children.

I hope to hear from you soon, and to become a new part of your family !

Yours sincerely,

Aurélie


édit : Bonne lettre, agréable à lire (un peu longue). Bon anglais.

Points positifs
- Elle décrit bien ses expériences avec les enfants : activités, anecdotes.
- Elle dit ce que ça lui apporte de garder des enfants : des bébés, des ados, etc.
- De façon générale, tout est bien détaillé.

Points à améliorer
- La lettre est un peu longue, ce qui pourrait être supprimé pour l'alléger :
* dire qu'elle va avoir sa licence (ne correspond pas à grand chose pour eux, ses projets sont plus intéressants pour eux)
* "with the agreement of my family" : elle l'avait déjà dit, supprimer une des deux phrases.
* "when their parents went out" : on s'en doute, juste dire qu'on s'en occupait le soir est suffisant.
* "From that moment I realized that I was not going to stop baby-sitting before a long time." (intéressant mais répétitif et la lettre est suffisamment longue).
* Lister davantage les activités pour gagner de la place sans faire de phrases pour expliquer tout, aller à l'essentiel.
* "because my sister often wanted me to look after him on evenings and during holidays" : aller à l'essentiel, supprimer cette partie.
* "Last year I saw him once a week, during one hour."
--> La lettre est bien et intéressante mais il serait nécessaire de choisir quelques passages à supprimer pour la raccourcir un peu.
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Marion B
:: Experiment ::
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Féminin Nombre de messages : 10
Age : 25
Activité actuelle : Terminale ES
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 24/02/2009

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Dim 12 Avr 2009, 4:22 pm

c'est très long, surement beaucoup trop long d'ailleurs! Je pense que je parle un peu trop de mes centres d'intérêts, mais j'aime bien donner des détails! Laughing Si vous avez le temps de la lire... j'attends vos critiques! :)

Dear families,

my name is Marion Boutin, I am 18 years old since 22 march 1991 and I just had my High School Diploma. I live for the time being, in Castelnau de Médoc. This small village of 3600 people which is planted near of Bordeaux in the south west of France, is mine since I am born. Around me, there is just vineyard ans castle. Here, we harvest the grapes during summer holidays and we drink red wine at every meal. (but don't worry, my parents didn't put wine in my bottles!)
In this town, 31 years ago, my parents settled in. Romain arrived first, then Clément born, and at least, I came into the world. My two brothers are now 29 and 22, unfortunately I see them less than I would like. They are not still settled, but they have a job and like their life. My dad is a computer scientist retired, he plays piano and guitar and have a band. My mum is a teacher of young people with mental problems, but the next year, she will go into a ceramist. Also, she is a good painter. Indeed, arts have an important place in our family.

Besides, they passed this interest on to me. In my childhood, I was playing piano during two years, I belonged to a choir, I was playing djembé with my brother, I made rudiments of music (oh gosh, it was horrible, I couldn't bear it!). Since I am a teenager, I play guitar and I love singing at the same time (but not in front of lots of people, just with my friends!) For one year, I play drums. In fact, I am crazy about rhythm. As you can see it, I have touched lots of instruments but I am not as long as an talented artist. I don't play music with the intention of being the best. I just want to have fun and share nice moments with people.
Also, for four years, I play theater. I love to go every week to my theater class, I share this moment with my best friends and some very nice adults persons, it is a great moment, we are laughing all the time. I think theater allowed me to have confidence in myself. Representations at the end of the year gather adults and children, and I am delighted to see these children so lighted up. I love to look after them when we go to festival, there are cute! Theater is a good activity for a child, it allows to bring out the best of them.
However, theater is so stressful that I don't feel always good when I come on stage. Fortunately, it depends. I remember once I played a funny poppy. I succeeded in doing laugh all the audience, I felt that I shared my pleasure with people, the feeling I felt at this moment was wonderful. That's why theater please me so much, it is a great experience.
I practice sport regularly. I play tennis sometimes with my father, and I go twice a week to a king of gym club. Also, I love cooking. I always cook cakes and biscuits for my friends when I see them at the end of the week. I like eating the cakes I cook too, but I try to not yield to temptation (I am too greedy!)
I spent my time with friends, especially three girls that I see every week ends. Fanny, Jessica , Julie and me are very close. We go to cinema and concert, we spend holidays together, I love them very much. It will be difficult to live far from my best friends, but they still cheer me to make this adventure.

I think I am a dynamic person, very curious who loves experiences, like travels. I went to Japan when I was 16 during one month. Clément studied over there, so Romain and me went to see him. It was the best time of my life. I knew a new culture, a new language and lots of different people who came from around the world, I am very nostalgic when I remember this wonderful trip.
Also, the last year, I went to England during summer. I wanted to leave abroad at all costs, to improve my language and live a real experience. So, I left with my backpack and I visited South of England. I slept at friends places, in Youth hostel, or others. Moreover, I spent one week in a French family house. I looked after their children: two wonderful littler girls, Aïda and Zia. Also, I spent one day at Aïda school, I helped teachers in class, it was funny to take care of English littler boys and girls. I became integrated into the school life, I loved to see the English way of teaching and help children in their games and exercises. This shows that language doesn't block out good bonds between people, and especially between a child and an adult from an other country.

This lead me to speak about my interest for children and the good relation ship which exist between us. For a longtime, I love the children company. I think I have always been “connected” with them. As you know, I am the youngest in my family, I doesn't have any younger brothers or sisters but I have always wanted to do. So, since I am small, I am used to take care of my littler cousins, I loves behaving like a mum or an old sister. Children make me laugh, I like their madness and their simplicity and honesty. I am interested in their interest, their problems and their personalities. In fact, I think childhood is a wonderful world.
I began to be a real babysitter when I went to Limoges at the Fardao home. Their two children Martin and Carline, who comes from Haiti, and me were attracted immediately. They are too funnies, originals, and dynamics. I was used to look after them during holidays, and it was a real pleasure to spend time with this family. Martin is very curious, he loves read, and he have always been interested in school, we made exercises together even if he didn't need a lot of help, he is really independent. He is very hectic and it is often difficult to keep a watch on him, this child needs tranquility and quiet, so when he is too agitate, I am used to give him a book or make manuals things. Carline, her, have been adopted 6 years ago, she have been abandoned by her mum in Haiti. I think I don't have never seen a little girl so joyful who lives life to its fullest. She laughs all the time, she is a little bit crazy and that's why I love her! It seems she is aware that she almost died and now, she takes advantage of her life fully. In this family, I take care of children during holidays, so it is not really restrictive! I especially play with them. But also, I make children breakfast, often we go for a walk to have good time and often to gather blackberries. Sometimes, they dance when I play guitar, I fed them lunch and I help them with homework. I keep an eye on them when they play on the computer. That's about it!

Also, at Castelnau city, I look after children when parents ask me for. I looked after Isabelle during one week, she was really emotional, she needed company and affection, so I liked to give her what she had got missing. She arrived very early in the morning with her father just before he went to work. Often, she was still in her duvet, so I put her to bed. When she woke up, I fed her breakfast. Then, we played together in the garden and in the swimming pool, I took care of her because she didn't swim very well. We went to the park, I introduced her to others children because she was new in the city. I fed her lunch. Sh was on holidays, so we had good time: we painted and molded together. Once, she slept at home. I cooked for her, and looked after her when she took a shower. Before sleeping, I read her a fairytale!

As well, three years ago, I “worked” for one week in a day nursery. Actually, at the end of elementary school, students have to do a training period in a firm. I had chosen to work close to children. It was really rewarding, on the one hand because I could see how adults had to look after children and what a child needed, and on the other hand, because I could realize what was a real job close to children and if this job pleased me. I didn't have the right to take care of them, I was just an “observer”, but it was still a good experience.
I don't still know what I would like to do later, but I have always been tempted to work close to people and especially children, small or old. Besides, that's one reason I want to go to United States the next year. I want to spend one year of reflexion and experiences to grow up intellectually and find what I like, for what I would be useful. I need to live news experiences to become apparent and to become more independent. I need this special year to find my goal in life.

I am really excited, I want to live this hectic experience to take care of children and share wonderful moments with them, to grow up and become independent, to be immersed in the American culture and erase all my prejudices, but also to live something unusual, meet others friend and get a real kick out of this trip!!
I told you my life and my past, my interests and why I want at all cost to leave in United States in a good family.So, I hope you to detect some features of my personality and you are convinced that I am the good one to look after your children, I will give the best of myself!. I long to share this adventure with you!! Thank you for having read my (long) letter!

Greetings from Castelnau de médoc!!
SEE YOU !! :) Marion Boutin


édit : Bonne lettre mais trop longue! Anglais correct.

Points positifs
- Tout est bien détaillé (trop!).
- Elle décrit bien son expérience avec les enfants : tempérament, activités...

Points à améliorer
- La lettre est bien trop longue, ce qui pourrait être supprimé :
* la date de naissance (figure dans le dossier).
* "is mine since I am born" : inutile de le préciser, d'autant qu'elle le redit ensuite!
* "Here, we harvest the grapes during summer holidays and we drink red wine at every meal. (but don't worry, my parents didn't put wine in my bottles!)" : sympa mais attention, la lettre ne doit pas être trop longue!
* "They are not still settled, but they have a job and like their life" : plutôt que de dire ça, donner leur profession quand on donne leurs prénoms.
* "(but not in front of lots of people, just with my friends!)"
* tout ce paragraphe : " As you can see it, I have touched lots of instruments but I am not as long as an talented artist. I don't play music with the intention of being the best. I just want to have fun and share nice moments with people."
* "Representations at the end of the year gather adults and children, and I am delighted to see these children so lighted up. I love to look after them when we go to festival, there are cute!"
* De façon générale le paragraphe sur le théatre est beaucoup trop long!!! Trop de répétitions!! Elle parle trop d'ELLE-même!
* Beaucoup de détails et de répétitions : je suis la plus jeune qui est dit plusieurs fois dans la lettre!
* "Carline, her, have been adopted 6 years ago, she have been abandoned by her mum in Haiti. I think" : une petite fille abandonnée, c'est par définition une petite fille dont la maman l'a abandonné! Attention aux redondances!
* "Actually, at the end of elementary school, students have to do a training period in a firm. I had chosen to work close to children." : inutile de donner autant de détails!
--> Beaucoup beaucoup de répétitions. Moins détailler les choses, quand on a plusieurs lettres à lire, on finit par survoler les lettres trop longues!
- Elle parle longtemps d'elle-même, on se demande quand elle va commencer à parler des enfants! Ce qui intéresse les parents!!!
- " "I made rudiments of music (oh gosh, it was horrible, I couldn't bear it!)" : NE PAS LE DIRE alors! N'en parlez pas si c'est pour dire que vous avez détesté!!
- "I loves behaving like a mum" : ça fait un peu trop "jouer à la maman", comme une soeur c'est plus juste!
- Préciser l'âge des enfants.
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http://www.myspace.com/marionanaiscarole
bouh59
:: Solution Au Pair ::
:: Solution Au Pair ::


Féminin Nombre de messages : 102
Age : 30
Activité actuelle : Etudiante
Dates de mon séjour : 31 août 2009
Ville, ETAT : Derwood, Maryland
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 07/04/2009

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Mar 14 Avr 2009, 12:48 pm

A mon tour de vous poster ma lettre
Elle est longue mais bon...

Dear Host Family

I would first of all like to present myself, my name is Marion Bueno and I am 22 years old. I study at the University of Lille, in the North of France.

Lille is a dynamic city, full of students and for the last 4 years I have lived in a small apartment.

However, every weekend I return home to my parent’s house. They live in the countryside in a small village called Cerfontaine. It’s about one hours drive away from the city of Lille.
This gives me the opportunity to see the countryside, to go for long walks, to go cycling.

My family is composed of:

My brother, Clément, 24 years, studying also in Lille
My mother, Sandrine who is a beautician
My father, Antoine who is manager
And not forgetting my cat, Nala who spends the whole day eating and sleeping.

Personality

I am a very dynamic person and love to be active.

If you ask any one of my friends they shall tell you that I am an active, kind, agreeable, motivated, funny, joyous, that I am full of common sense, open minded, warm hearted, mature, responsible, enthusiastic and full of personality.

Hobbies

• Music : I have been playing the flute for the last 8 years

• Theater: For 3 years I used to be part of a theater group however I had to stop as it was taking up too much of my time.

• Arts and Craft: I love creating and making small decorative items such as mirrors, frames and other such things.

• Sports: Swimming, general fitness, walking, biking.

• Gardening: I like spending time surrounded by nature.

• Outings: Dinner parties with friends, as I love cooking, going out for a drink with friends, and going to concerts.

• Travelling : I have visited the following countries: France, Belgium, Great Britain, Spain, Germany, Italy, Tunisia, Canary Islands, Senegal

• Going to the cinema

Professional Work Experience

Currently I’m in the third year of the Bachelor of Business Administration (accounting section).

I obtained my “BTS Assistante de Gestion PME PMI” (Equivalent 2 years after A-levels (Accounting; Management; Administration) in small and medium-sized companies) 2 years ago and I passed my baccalaureate 4 years ago.

For the last 2 years, I hold a full driving license

Thanks to my studies I have been able to have many work experience opportunities in accounting and commerce.

For the last 2 years I have been working in a clinic, to carry out work replacements, working as a secretary or switch board operator.

Looking after children

I like looking after children and doing activities with them.

 For the last 4 years I have been looking after a little girl called Alix who has just turned 11, and the last 2 years I have been looking another little girl called Maelle who has 3 years.

I try and do a maximum amount of activities with them:
• Arts and craft (Painting, all types of works of art, jewelry making, drawing, modeling)
• Sports (Biking, swimming)
• Cultural (Going to the cinema)
• Helping with homework
• I also look after their meal times and bath times…

 During the summer vacation, I looked after 3 children: Ugo, Manon et Lucas (twins)

Their house is situated between the city and the countryside so we could go for walks in the country either by foot or by bike. As it was summer we often went to the swimming pool.

I looked after them and preparing meal times, at lunch and dinner.

 In June 2008 I embarked on a humanitarian mission, helping the children of Saint Louis, in
Senegal.

Our aim was to re-establish a library for the children from the school of Mamadou Charles Niang.

We rebuilt the walls, the shutters and the floor. We bought a blackboard, chairs, tables, books and other such items needed in a classroom…

During the weekends there were no formal lessons so we occupied the children with activities:
• Dancing
• Singing
• Creative tasks
• Sports
• Acting

It was like a holiday camp.

We stayed with locals, and this was very enriching as we learnt a lot about a different culture by participating with the daily rituals and lifestyle of the people. It was also amazing to see how these people were able to make so much out of few resources.

I returned to France, enlightened as it was an unforgettable experience!!!

 For one week I was an animator in a kindergarten school. We taught the children songs, to
paint, as well as making collages and coloring in.
I would put the children to bed for nap time, and I made them snacks and looked after them during Play-time.

Why I have chosen to be an au pair…

• I love children, looking after them, playing with them, helping them

• To live abroad would be a wonderful opportunity for me

• I have decided to take a break from what I do, so going away for a long period is ideal for me.

• I would like to improve my English, and to become truly fluent. This would have very good repercussions for my curriculum vitae and I would be able to consider looking for a good job.

• I am very open to other cultures, other horizons and other customs

• I wish to discover another country, meet new people, establish strong links with new people

• I would like to change my habits and have a new lifestyle.

My principle aim is to improve my language ability. As I have previously mentioned it is essential to know the English language in order to find a good job.

In helping your children, in accompanying them, in playing with them…. In other words being with them I will have to make myself understood and thus communicate in English.

To be an au pair is very much an experience which I would like to live.
I hope these words have attracted your attention and my capacity and my will to become an au pair shine through.

See you soon,

Marion Bueno


édit : Bonne lettre mais présentation trop "catalogue". Anglais correct.

Points positifs
- La lettre est complète et assez bien détaillée.

Points à améliorer
- La présentation de la lettre a été acceptée par l'organisme mais cela n'est pas rédigé sous forme de lettre et davantage sous forme de "catalogue". De plus les organismes limitent souvent le nombre de page, or cette présentation allonge de beaucoup la longueur sans que le contenu ne soit très long. Il y a énormément de sauts de ligne!
I faudrait faire des phrases et rédiger les choses, sans mettre de titres. Il faudrait également regrouper les informations pour en faire des paragraphes, pas aller aussi souvent à la ligne et ne pas sauter autant de lignes!
- La présentation sur son caractère est également une simple liste de qualités! Il y a des parties avec les qualités dans le dossier également, ici, il faut les faire vivre, donner des exemples!
- Par ailleurs, cette présentation "catalogue" ne permet pas de se donner vraiment une idée du niveau d'anglais.
- Plutôt que de lister les activités réalisées avec les enfants, il faudrait non seulement rédiger mais également donner des anecdotes!
--> J'ai placé cette lettre sur un document word avec un interligne de 1,5 : cela faisait 5 pages! En supprimant des passages à la ligne, des sauts de ligne et les titres, la lettre a déjà été réduite à 3 pages!
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Yohan
:: Cultural Care ::
:: Cultural Care ::


Masculin Nombre de messages : 353
Age : 28
Activité actuelle : Etudiant / Banquier
Dates de mon séjour : May 10 th 2010 - May 2011
Ville, ETAT : Ann Arbor, MI
Localisation : USA
Date d'inscription : 08/04/2009

MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Dim 26 Avr 2009, 8:42 pm

Alors la je le sens pas car je pense vraiment avoir un niveau cm2 ^^ donc si vous avez des critiques ou des grosses fautes a me dire faite le.

En attendant je vous souhaite une bonne lecture et surtout essayé d'être le plus franc possible.

Merci. A bientôt.

Dear host family,

For the beginning I’ll introduce myself.
My name is Yohan and I’m 20 years old. I live in France more precisely in Sury le comtal, a little town near Lyon (50 Miles). I’m student in English but I don’t want to be a teacher. I want to be a seller, by the way, after my experience in au pair. I’ll try to follow a professional training. I’m patient, open-minded and attentive. I practice badminton. I like basketball, to be with my friend and go to the cinema.

I live with my parents who are retired and a cleaning woman. They are respectively 59 and 52. I’ve got one sister her name is Laetitia and she’s 30. She’s educator for teenager who have disabilities. She’s married and got 2 children. The first one, Tom is 5 years old and Maylie is 2 years old. I’m really glad to be uncle because they are so cute.

I like to be with my family because we are a lot! I’ve near 20 cousins and 10 uncles/aunts. So when we did a meeting it’s really cool because we heard a lot of story.

Now, I’ll explain you my childcare experiences. I worked only during the holidays because I’m student. I worked since summer 2006. I began in a family with a girl who had 7 years old. Then I worked for MJC, I worked with 2 boys who had 7 and 11, I worked with another girl who had 11 years and finally I worked with boys who had 11. By the way, I take care after my nephew and niece.

I did a lot of activities with them like Tennis, Soccer, outdoors activities, swimming pool, indoors activities and a lot of video game because they love that. I try to do my best for them because I think they feel that, and they try to do their best too. Indeed, I really want they regard me as their brother, and this situation help the children to talk with me and to tell me what are their problems or something like that. So I think it’s really good for them to have someone to speak.

I want to become an au pair because I like children, I want to improve my English and I want to discover American country. It’s my American dream. Moreover, this experience is really good, indeed, we can learn more about us and to be self-supported.

Lastly, I want to thank you to have read my letter, and I’m in a hurry to meet you.

Yohan.


édit : Bonne lettre mais à développer! Anglais correct.

Points positifs
- Lettre qui aborde un peu tous les domaines (pas assez en profondeur).

Points à améliorer
- De façon générale, la lettre est courte, il faut développer :
* ses loisirs! Montrez qui vous êtes : plutôt du genre sportif? plutôt du genre casanier? etc etc.
* le paragraphe sur les ENFANTS : il est beaucoup trop court! Il se contente de redire ce qui est dans le dossier! Il faut détailler les activités, donner des anecdotes. Il dit ce qu'il fait, mais de façon générale, il ne rend donc pas vivantes les expériences qu'il cite.
* son caractère
* ses motivations.
- Cette phrase "I live with my parents who are retired and a cleaning woman" : est-ce que son père est retraité et sa mère femme de ménage? Ici, on comprend qu'il vit avec ses parents qui sont retraités et avec une femme de ménage! Est-ce bien cela?
- "I worked only during the holidays because I’m student" : inutile de le préciser. De plus, éviter de dire que l'on "travaille"! Il répète cela plusieurs fois, garder des enfants, ce doit être un plaisir!
- "Then I worked for MJC" : qui veut dire?
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MessageSujet: Re: [Dear Host Family letter] Exemples   Aujourd'hui à 3:06 am

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